I lied," I say still looking at his lips, he opens his eyes and gazes over at me.
"Uh oh," he whispers, not breaking eye contact. I am suddenly aware of his lingering stare. He looks at me everywhere, every inch, there was no hiding from it. His ga...
I TRY NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT. But the days begin to blend into one and it takes everything in me not to fade into the winter night with my thoughts.
I try to busy myself, if only to ignore it. I hang with Danielle during lunch and after school, I do my homework, I read in between tasks, I make small talk with Jackie. See, I can be normal. I can be good.
I hadn't felt the urge to crumble to the floor in hysterical tears in a little over two weeks now. That was an A in my book.
Sometimes I forgot to eat, which was okay because I never really had an appetite anyways, it only became a problem when I noticed I went down two sizes and got headaches and felt lightheaded during the day.
Other than that, I was...dare I say it....okay. Okay enough. Okay enough to not want to scream until my throat bled, okay enough to do the bare minimum.
Go to school, come home, go to therapy on Tuesday's, go to school, come home, go to school, go home, sleep. Go to school, come home, sleep. Groundhog day effect, Danielle called it.
The days were blending into one long day. Ezra was stirring the pot, however.
I hadn't talked to him since last Tuesday and I only thought about him to tell myself to not think about him. He'd tried to text me a few days ago, but I ignored him, leaving him on read.
If I was being honest, he scared me. I didn't like the faint flutter I got in my stomach when I was around him, I didn't like that he wanted to get to know me, or that he ruined my groundhog day effect.
