Infatuated

20. Missed Calls

One week later

     "You can't just not follow my rules Perrie! Your relationship with Jay is still going to happen whether or not you like it. Are we clear?" Will asked over the phone, clearly pissed off from the voice mail that I had left him and the fact that I had ignored the dating schedule with Jay along with all his texts and calls for the past week. "No I am not clear! I'm done. There's nothing you can do about it." I retorted. "Come into the offices, now." He demanded, frustrated with my stubbornness. "No. I'm not going by your rules anymore." I retorted and hung up. I sighed heavily as I threw my phone onto the bed. I was so frustrated, I was so stressed. I felt like I didn't know what to do with myself, how to deal with all my problems. I wanted to channel all of my attention to my career with the girls, but there was just this huge part of me missing; that part was Zayn. I fell back on to my bed, staring up at the ceiling. Usually when my relationships ended, I'd mope around for a few days then I'd be back on my feet and normal again. This time though, it was different. I longed to want him back. I wasn't focused on letting it go. I wasn't focused on getting over this heart break because I so desperately wanted to mend this broken heart of mine. I just needed him back.

     The doorbell rang, interrupting me from my thoughts. I was annoyed; I just wanted to be left alone. I couldn't be rude though, could I? I rolled out of bed and lazily made my way out of the room to the front door. I opened the door, revealing the curly haired guy that was the last person I wanted to see. "No." I said as I began to shut the door. "Perrie, stop." Jay said as he stopped me from shutting the door on his face. I read his eyes; it showed fear, hurt, worry. I felt bad as I had just ignored him for a whole week after everything had happened. "You know we need to talk, it's going to have to happen sometime." He explained. "Yeah and that sometime is never." I said while applying pressure to shut the door. In response he pushed harder and let himself in. "Did I say you could come in?" I asked, pure annoyance in my tone. "Stop being so difficult. You think you're the only one hurt by all of this?" He shot back. "You started all this! If you hadn't came over we would have never kissed and nothing would have happened!" I said exasperated, my voice slightly getting louder. "You're blaming this on me? Have you ever thought about yourself as the problem?" He asked, fury shown on his face. "If you're here to give me a lecture you can leave now." I said, somewhat calmer after I took in a deep breath.

     Jay sighed heavily, "No I want to talk. These past few days have been hell for me." He said. "Yeah well, it sure hasn't been as rough as my week." I responded coldly. "What don't you understand Perrie?! I'm crazy for you. It makes me sound clingy and cliché but it's the truth. We've known each other for a whole month now and yes, I've fallen. Hard. You can't just blow me off like this and expect me not to come back because I know you feel something for me too." He confessed, his eyes locked with mine. I could see it in his eyes; he was telling nothing but the truth. "Jay, this ruined my relationship with Zayn. I love him. I thought I felt something with you, but I don't. I love Zayn, not you." I clarified timidly, his eyes practically flared up in shades of angry red. "NO!" He yelled abruptly as he advanced slightly towards me. I backed up from him, terrified to be completely honest. He was angry. "Jay..." I said unsteadily as he advanced as I backed up until my back hit the solid wall. "Stop lying to me. You feel something between us." He demanded as he hovered over me. I felt powerless. I shook my head. "I'm not lying." I said. "I'll fucking make you feel something if you keep lying." He threatened. "Tell me you don't like it when I touch you like this." He said as I stayed silent. His fingertips traveled up my arm, tracing around my neck to my face, his soft thumb brushing over my lips. I didn't know what he was doing, but I didn't like it. He needed to stop. "Jay, please stop." I whispered against his touch. "No, not until you admit it." He responded. "I don't fucking feel anything for you Jay!" I shouted, fed up with him. He was being absolutely ridiculous. "Yes you do! It's in your eyes, I felt it when we kissed, we have something!" He said. "N-" I started to protest before he forced his lips on to mine. This was in no way romantic. I didn't want him, and I certainly didn't want him kissing me. I pushed against his chest with all my strength as he stumbled back. "Leave Jay! I don't want to ever see you again!" I demanded angrily as I stared him down. I couldn't believe he had just kissed me again. He stared at me for a few more seconds before opening the door. "You're a fucking slag for messing around with two guys at once. You don't deserve any one of us." He said before he slammed the door shut. I had heard that insult countless times from fans, but it had never hurt as much until now.