What's your Poison? - h.s

41.

I know some people find graveyards peaceful. A place where people are finally resting, to talk to someone you can't anymore, or just to pay respects to those who have passed on. But I have never liked them. It's just a reminder on stone that someone who you really need to be by your side, isn't here anymore. This is the second time I've come here, the first was the actual funeral, but I can't say I remember it. That was the beginning of me using weed 24/7, I was numb from everything. All I was that day was present.

Being here right now, sat next to Harry on a bench with Niall's grave 200ft away, I try create a new memory of this place. A memory where I'll be happy to come back and visit Niall. I got a lot off of my chest being here, and I feel a lot better and closer to him after doing so. I rest my head on Harry's shoulder as we sit in silence, watching the clouds float past us. I wish we could sit here in silence forever, ignoring all the things we need to discuss.

"There's a reason I came back, Daisy." Harry says, breaking the wish. I refuse to move my head off of his shoulder, but feel his head lift up off of mine. "I needed to tell you all this because Sam wouldn't go into business with James unless you knew. I couldn't let him be the one to tell you." As I lift my head up, he doesn't move to make eye contact with me. He hadn't come here by choice, he was forced. If Sam hadn't threatened to tell me, I probably still wouldn't know about Harry and Niall. I've been so stupid thinking he had come back for anything more.

"I see...so everything you said in the apartment about not wanting to leave the company and having everything you ever wanted, that was all true." I say as I wait for the stab of the answer to come.

"Yes." He says, moving his gaze to the ground. One word just hurt more than anything else ever could. Nothing from the other night had changed. He only came here to get the guilt off his conscience, not to get me back at all. "No, I mean, not all of it. I was wrong to say those things to you, Daisy." He turns to face me, placing his hand on my knee as if he notices me slipping away. "You're not naive, and I don't have everything I could ever want. Because I don't have you." His eyes grip onto my as much as his hand does. "But we can't do this." He quickly pushes himself up off the bench away from me.

"Harry..." I plead, I can't let him leave me again.

"I'm no good for you, Daisy!" He shouts back, exploding. "I want you so bad, but all I do is hurt you! You're better off without me." He stands in front of me, his eyes burning red with the pain he feels showing in his face.

"Stop deciding for me!" I shout after him, getting up from te bench to stand in front of him, closing the distance between us that I hate. I'm so glad no one else is here right now, we'd definitely be ruining any moment they'd be trying to have. "You are who I want to be with. Along with all the bullshit that comes with it. No matter what happens..." I carry on talking, edging closer to him as I feel the words start to come out of my mouth, "I love you, Harry." I say in a softer tone, hoping he'd look at me. I feel my chest rise and fall with fear. I don't need him to say it back, I just need him to turn round and come back to me. "You're the only person I've truly cared about since Niall. You've helped me become a better person, stronger." I keep talking until I'm right behind him, almost touching him. "Just...don't leave me." I plead, trying to hold the tears back that I'm surprised I even still have.

"I'd never leave you." Harry brings his hand up to my chin, tilting my head back so that our eyes meet. "There's stuff I have to do before...this...can happen. It's not safe enough for you yet." His tone is softer and quieter now, and I can almost see a tear try to escape his eyes.

"I want to help, Harry. For the guys like, Niall. I can't let James or Sam just not care about who they're hurting or effecting by selling dodgy drugs. I can do this."

Harry smiles as if he knows I won't take no for an answer. He slips his other arm behind my waist, pulling me against him whilst still holding up my chin. I move swiftly up to my tiptoes so our lips easily meet in the middle whilst he dips down. I didn't need to hear anything else from him. The kiss is enough.He moves his hand round to the back of my neck, holding it tightly. I grab onto the shirt on his back, as if I'd never let go. I feel safe back in his arms, connecting with him again. Our lips depart from one another but our heads stay connected, breathing heavily. I stare up at Harry, who still has his eyes closed.

"We can do this, Harry." I say gently to him as I feel him drift away from me. I see a small smile escape from him again, accepting that I'm not leaving him.

*
I direct Harry to my parent's house. His hands are firmly wrapped around the wheel and he hasn't said a thing since we left Niall. I just needed a lift back to my parents, I'm not expecting him to come in and meet my parents. Not really sure how I would introduce Harry to anyone.

'Please meet my boss who I'm also madly in love with but he's also a drug lord, but a good one, oh and he was Niall's drug dealer, but not THE drug dealer.'

Yeah, I think for now, we'll leave it.

"I need to go back to the city, sort some things out, then I'll come pick you up tomorrow." He states as he follows the directions I gave him earlier. I wasn't planning on staying at my parents that long, but it would have been nice to have the choice. "If...that's ok with you?" Harry corrects himself as he notices me frown. I return a big cheesy smile to him, to let him know he's learning. "We just have a lot of things coming up, and if you wanna be involved in this, I need you to be ready." He looks concerned as he looks at me quickly in between watching the road.

"I'll be fine, Harry. Just for tonight, I wanna spend time with my parents and then, once we are back in Brooklyn, it's game time." I say, making a gun with my finger and pretending I'm James Bond. He can't help but to let out a small laugh. "Just on the right here." I say as we come up to my parents house.

"Is George staying or something?" Harry asks as we pull into the drive behind George's car.

"Umm...I don't actually know. It's all kinda new to me, him being around." I then notice the angry look on Harry's face. I bring my hands up to him cupping his cheeks and taking his gaze from the house, back to me. "He's harmless, ok?" He reluctantly nods, before I pull him to, giving him a gentle, long kiss. "I'll see you tomorrow." I say as I start to pull away, but I'm stopped as Harry's hand behind my neck pulls my lips back to his for a hungrier kiss.

"Okay, now you can go." He smiles as he moves back to his seat. Cheeky lil' shit. I climb out of the car, trying to do the sassiest walk ever up the drive because I know he's watching. Just as I get to the door, I wait until I hear Harry drive away before knocking.

Luckily, my parents don't ask any questions as to where I've been or how I got home. They were just happy I'm back and rushed me in, as they had dinner on the table waiting for me, with George sat at the table already as well. I know I need to make the most of tonight, as it could be the last normal night I have for awhile.