"How can someone with a name like Daisy, be so fiery." He says as he runs the back of his hand along my cheek. "Such a gentle flower, given to someone so stubborn and rude." I pull my face away from his hand, but he quickly snaps his hand round the...
Maybe if I'd said the right things It never would've gone this way But maybe that's the problem 'Cause I still kinda think it was up to me When I never could've made you stay
To say I was restless last night would be an understatement. I left the club after basically eye-fucking with Harry all night from the bar whilst he entertained Jeffrey at the booth. I'd like to think we weren't obvious, but Joe was with me the whole night so I doubt it. When it was time to leave, Harry had already gone up to his office with Jeffrey, and I decided not to snoop this time. I didn't want to risk ruining the night I'd just had. I left work with a skip in my step, feeling merrier than ever. I never would have thought that just a kiss would make me feel this way. Although, it didn't feel like any normal kiss. It was fiery, passionate and it felt like fireworks. I couldn't stop smiling once I got home, I was even singing and dancing in front of the mirror, who is this girl. I hadn't seen her since Sam.
Once I got into bed the moment kept playing over and over again in my mind. I thought it would help me to sleep, it did the opposite. I was awake all night just thinking about him. I couldn't stop picturing his soft, sweet lips against mine, and his large hands all over me, his rings coming intact with my skin sending shivers throughout my body. The way his hand engulfed the small of my back, holding me tightly against his body. I was distracted to say the least....
"I wanted to protect you."
The words running through my head over and over again. Those words reminded me of Niall. He would always be the one person to protect me, no one else. It felt weird having someone else say that to me. Although, I'm sure how genuine he was being. I don't need protecting anymore, I can hold myself.
I couldn't help but wonder what he thought he was protecting me from. I knew Jeffrey seemed like a dodgy business guy, but I'd already spent two nights with them. I gained their trust. Hell, I was even the reason they trusted Harry. What sort of club business could be going on that could be threatening to me. I mean, it was a given that this wasn't a normal club. I couldn't help but want to dig further, and figure it all out. I am too curious for my own good.
After getting what felt like 4 hours sleep, I decided to push all those wondering thoughts out of my head. I just wanted to focus on the positive right now, because for the first time in awhile I actually had something positive happen to me. Although, my mood was about to completely change...
"Hi mum..." I chime as I answer her call. I roll my eyes, hoping she can't hear the annoyance through the phone.
"Honey, just calling you to check you're alright?" She asks, in a sympathetic voice.
"Yes, mum. I'm grand." I sigh, keeping my annoyed tone.
"Well it's just because you know what day it is, right?" I wish she hadn't reminded me, because now my mood was totally ruined.
"Yes, all good. Sending you and Dad love. Bye." I blurt out quickly so that I can hang up quicker. I'd never been good opening up about my feelings to my parents, there was only one person that I could, and they weren't an option anymore. I drop my head back to my pillow, staring out the window as the sun shined through. I need something to bring my mood back up, the only thing I could think was Harry. It was too soon to depend on him, I'm jumping in way too fast.
I sit up and shake all my thoughts out, changing into my sweatpants and tank top before throwing my hair up into a bun. I need to get out, I'm starting to feel suffocated, it didn't take me a lot to feel like this. It was almost a daily occurrence for me. If I don't keep active, intrusive thoughts always start to enter and begin to drown me. Overthinking was definitely a flaw of mine. That's why every night I had off, I'll always go out. I can't cope with sitting in my apartment for a whole night, especially not alone. I guess that's why I also liked working in a club. I can sleep all day and then work all night. The perfect way to keep my mind occupied.
I head out to the park, leaving my weed at home, today is not the right day to smoke. I need fresh air right now.
I head off on my usual route, heading for my spot at the lake. It's a Sunday afternoon, meaning the park is full of runners and families. It makes me feel more at ease this time. I want to be surrounded by people right now, distractions. Anything to stop me thinking about him. I take a moment to look up at the sky and notice how blue the sky is, with clouds dotted around. I smile to myself as I remember a hobby I used to have, cloud-gazing.
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I head to the green area of the park, picking a spot right in the middle, away from any trees and lie down, looking straight up at the sky. I feel the soft, green grass below me, giving me a different sort of comfort. Cloud gazing was my favourite way of relaxing, before weed. I always used to do it as a child, looking up at the clouds and imagining what I could see. I would point out different clouds and laugh about them looking like faces or dinosaurs. I usually wasn't alone.
It also taught me about perspective. One way you see a cloud, may be completely different to how someone else sees it. Just like people. When people first meet me they probably think I'm a really confident, self-assured and feisty girl. Get to know me and I have plenty of insecurities. The fact that I find it hard to trust anyone other than Katie, being one.
Whenever I feel stuck or like I'm suffocating, I would look up to the clouds and remember that everything in life changes, whether you want it to or not. Nothing is ever constant. One cloud that I'm looking at, by the time it reaches the other side of the world it'll either has disappeared or changed. Nothing in my life was ever constant, people either left me or changed. The only thing in my life that I could say is slightly constant is Katie, and I don't think I'll ever have to worry about losing her.
The clouds move along the sky slowly, allow the sun to peak through time to time, warming me up each time the rays shine through. The sounds of kids playing around me faintly, the sound of laughter and joy. I smile to myself as distant memories of times playing with Niall in the garden as kids. Being out in the garden all day when it's sunny, only coming in when it got dark and Mum shouted at us for being outside too late.
Why do we always look back on life for good memories so often? Why not just remember what happened recently, or what's to happen in the future. Maybe it's because our best days are always behind us, or maybe that's just me. I tend to look back on my days with regret, wishing I said something to someone or did something different. It's changed how I live my life now, I try to make sure if I want to say or do something, I'll always do it, so that I'll never think 'what if'.
I take a moment to take in a deep breath of fresh air, trying to exhale all the intrusive thoughts. Feeling a tear start to roll down the side of my face, as all I can picture is his face.
"I miss you, Bro."
A/N
Listen to the song bc....I cry...
Also, over 300 reads wow
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