Amanita: Poison Shot

Chapter 126: You Don't Get It

"NO!" I screamed with wide eyes and put my hands on my mouth. Daphne 2.0 had just killed herself.

More tears sprang from my eyes and rolled down my face. It reminded me of how lost I had felt whenever Apollo would try to flirt with me those last few days. The moment he had mentioned a brain transplant made me feel like I would rather be dead as well.

Apollo stood there, frozen, unexpressive even after a good whole minute.

Daphne 2.0 had preferred to die rather than be chained to Apollo and be forced to love him according to his insane requirements. Her blood smelt like laurel leaves.

"I've... I've lost her," Apollo said with a detached voice as if he was being unable to process what had just happened. Then, he shouted, eventually losing it: "I'VE LOST HER AGAIN!"

His yelling at that moment was an ode to despair. The gun was left forgotten on the floor, close to his feet. His facial features contorted into a nasty, painful portrait of loss and self-hatred. He knelt right by her side, held her and started to breathe raggedly while staring at her. Each of those breaths felt painful even to me, like getting needles stuck in your heart constantly.

"I know how you feel," I whispered then with sadness. "I've lost many loved ones along the way. Because of you."

"Yes, I know you hate me because you've lost your parents, your brother, some friends and your boss because of me!" He got his gun again and aimed at Sigi. "Now, you've killed my loved one with your stupid ideals! So, I'm gonna take your loved one away from you!"

We gasped. Apollo's anger stemmed from his burning desire to get revenge. It was just another painful example of how things could not change if that frame of mind kept governing our actions.

"Apollo, revenge isn't the answer," I said firmly and as calmly as I could.

"Not so daring are you now, huh?!" he added with slyness. "Aren't you afraid, Daphne?! I'm gonna steal more people you love from you. Don't you hate me for that? Or even better: won't you hate yourself for having pushed me to act this way?!"

"Don't pin this on me," I answered as if I was talking to Agape. Our arguments had that same tendency to spiral into blaming me for things. "If you choose to act like this, it's your choice."

"Sure! Keep lying to yourself!" he replied, yelling with pride and defiance while dark smoke kept invading the hall we were in. "Wouldn't you like a gun right now, huh? Come on, be honest! I know you would choose to kill me now before I can kill your boyfriend! Isn't that what you would want to do now?!

"Oh, but wait! You haven't got any weapon now," he added in a tone of mockery. "Now, that's a shame! I would've loved to see you falling prey to those vengeful feelings you hate so much when all this suffering is way too much to bear!"

"No. I might've lost loved ones over and over, but I won't kill you, not even if I had a weapon with me," I explained. I did have a weapon on me, my Kolibri. But it was concealed in a discreet pocket. However, I wasn't planning on using it. "And I didn't get Daphne 2.0 killed with my ideals. She chose to commit suicide. I would've loved to help her."

"You won't think the same after I kill him!" he screamed back at me with fierceness and shaking due to the tension and nervousness. Seeing that gun trembling at the end of his arm made me extremely nervous as a consequence.

"Tell me something," I went on with a collected tone of voice. "Who's to blame for Valentina's or Daphne 2.0's death but you? Don't you see this is karmic justice? You have been sowing the seeds of suffering and disengagement for decades. Now, it comes back to hit you like a boomerang. If you had really loved Daphne 2.0, my words would've caused no effect on her whatsoever. And if you had loved my grandmother truly, we wouldn't even be here."