Amanita: Poison Shot

Chapter 41: In the Sofa Lounge with Siegfried

He was so close to me that his nose was barely an inch from mine.

"This is the only place in all Amanita that isn't wired," he whispered with a raspy voice.

There were three couples at a few feet's distance. The others were further away, but I could already see too many naked limbs. The soft, instrumental music, the dim lights, the smell of new leather, the moaning,... The whole place made me feel uncomfortable – that, and Siegfried's closeness.

"What is it?" I whispered, trying to keep it together. "If it's about the mission and Eros, I..."

"Partly," he admitted with uneasiness. "I know you can do this, but I can't help worrying. For fuck's sake, you shouldn't even be here."

I didn't know how to answer that. He was full of remorse. The look in his eyes told as much. I assumed he was blaming himself because he had gotten me involved.

"Don't worry about me," I whispered. "My mission's not that dangerous."

"Don't take it for granted," he whispered, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"Siegfried," I whispered kindly, "I need to feel useful. I can repair stuff and do this little espionage mission. It won't compromise my ethics, so we don't need to argue. Because I don't want to argue with you anymore," I said staring deeply into his eyes. His mouth was left partly open in surprise. I could see that my words were affecting him a lot more than the moaning of our neighbours. "Your colleagues already hate my guts – well, the majority of them, but not all. I don't want you to hate me."

"I would never hate you, Daphne," he answered decisively, but with sweetness too. His eyes were heavily fixed on mine. "And they don't hate you, it's just that... they don't believe you can actually help us, that's all. They think you'll be detrimental to our cause."

"I can prove them otherwise. I just need some time."

"If you screw it up, none of us will survive," he whispered to me while checking left and right, making sure no one was eavesdropping. "The clones will torture and kill us all. Since you've got no experience nor the skills, that's why they think you can make us fail."

"I know, but..."

A loud, carefree, female moan interrupted my reply. It distracted me from what I wanted to say.

Siegfried blushed as instantly as I had, and then he couldn't meet my eyes and chuckled almost noiselessly.

"I won't be exposed to any huge risk," I said. "I don't think I can expose any of you or your cause."

"Maybe. But they hate the fact that you don't believe in Agape's project – ethically speaking, of course. It makes them worry that you don't bow to her just like the rest of us do."

"What?! I want a brighter future as much as any of you. A different one than this shit. Agape promised me that. I believed in her when she said that. Everything will be alright. I won't betray you just because I don't agree with Agape. I'd get tortured and killed if I did."

Another shameless moan. Gasping. Panting. The soft, enticing sounds of an ancient melody composed by human biology a long time ago.

"Fuck, Daphne," he said right after a sigh. He looked massively displeased. "Just... just promise me you will never accept any other mission Agape tries to impose on you. Nor offer yourself."

I couldn't believe he was telling me that, especially with that cold, dejected look in his eyes, aimed at mine.

"What?" I was appalled and scared.