Hungry

~eight~

" Hey guys, whats up?" you ask nervously making your way to the fridge to grab a water. Being around these men never made you nervous before, ever. For some reason the air in the room was too dense for their not be an issue , especially if Ran asked you to come down stairs. You brothers always kinda kept you in the dark with Bonten which was understandable being you weren't actually involved, just there because of blood.

You felt everyone gazing at you but Sanzu's eyes on you could be felt into your soul, but there was sadness in his eyes. You looked away quickly before you could start blushing and looked towards Mikey. He had a soft smile, which made you feel even more easy that you never seen any type of expression like that before. 

"Okay, what the fuck. You guys are starting to freak me out." you muttered looking around at everyone but landing on Ran. 

Ran walked over to you and hugged you, being the height difference you were buried in his chest and his arms around your head. It was one of his comfort hugs that he would give you when you were crying. The one where you could listen to his heart to soothe you. " You know we love you very much, all of us right Y/N?" Ran said softly resting his head on top of yours. 

"And I love you guys too." you spoke into his chest making your words mumbled. 

"They were using you as leverage because Sanzu killed the leaders next of kin." Mikey spoke leaning on the counter with his head down. 

You backed away from the hug , looking over to Mikey. "And what does that have to do with me?" you questioned getting slightly defensive.  

"They took you with the full intent on killing you because you were always with Sanzu. They took advantage of the fact you two where always together. Tried to take you to get Sanzu to find you. To KILL the both of you." Rin looked into your eyes with emotions that were unreadable. 

You just stood there, unable to form a word let alone a sentence. You glanced over to Sanzu who just stared back at you empty. You felt a cold wave over your form, feeling sick to your stomach. You never had been put in this situation, your brothers always making sure that you were safe. This was all so new to you, and you hated this feeling of uneasiness Bonten was giving you. 

"You are going to be staying in here for a while kid. No clubs or going out with your friends. No Sanzu, I'm sorry." Ran muttered patting your head. You turned to face him with tears in your eyes, only wanting him to see them. You've never cried in front of anyone, always being taught by Rin to never show your weakness. This was just too much, being told you cant leave the house or talk to Sanzu. Even though you had zero idea what the hell you felt towards him after his shit today, now you'll never know.  You pushed Ran out of the way and ran up the stairs tears burning down your face making your vision blurrier by the second. Finally making it to your room, you swung the door open slamming it shut. Rushing to your bed falling into it, gasping for air. They were going to kill me because of Sanzu was all you could think to yourself. Fighting to catch just a little bit of air in between hiccups. Tears staining your skin and shirt.

| Sanzu POV |

All I could do was feel guilt, an emotion I've never felt. Everything that is happening right now is because I was jealous. Her being targeted was because of me, her being involved in a mission that the end result would be her death just because I killed someone who tried with her. My jealousy is ruining her life. 

"Let me go talk to her." Ran stated to the boys turning around towards the stairs. 

"No let me." I muttered walking around the counter behind Ran patting his shoulder.

"Absolutely fucking not. You are the whole reason we are in this exact situation." Rin shouted pounding his fist against the counter making everyone look at him.

Ran looking right at him as Sanzu kept going up the stairs. " Let him Rin. Trust me" he said with a sigh. Rin stormed off down the hallway into the office slamming the door. 

Knock knock  

"Leave me alone." Y/N said muffled clearly with her head into the pillow. 

"Please" I softly said as I leaned my head against the door feeling nothing but sadness for the girl I adored.  

Before I could say another word to break the silence I heard the door knob jiggle. My heart dropped, I lifted my forehead off the door and was met with her tear stained cheeks and swollen eyes. It completely broke me. She did not deserve this, she deserves so much better. She would be so much happier without me hanging around her. 

"Hi princess." I muttered to her pushing a strand of hair out of her face and behind her ear. She just looked at me with this lost look, like she had zero idea what to do. Maybe I should of let Ran come up here, he would know what to do. I don't wanna make this worse. She pulled me into the room and shut the door. I walked to her bed and sat down not knowing what to even say to her. She walked up to me and stood between my legs. I looked up and met her gaze.

"I want to fucking hate you. So badly, but I just cant." She whispered lowly, while her eyes started to well up again with tears, one slowly escaping. I grab her face and wipe the tear with my thumb, she ever so lightly let her head fall into my hand.

"Im so sorry babygirl." Was all I could manage to get out. As soon as I finished my sentence she broke, crumbling into my arms sobbing. I felt like my heart was ripping out of my chest. Why did she make me feel things like this. The amount of females I've had cry like this to me, I would just shrug them off. Y/N thou, oh Y/N. She made me feel things I have never felt in my life before. I wanted to try with her, I really wanted to try. My jealousy and lack of self control ruined it. Ruined whatever this could of been. 

"Y/N, lay down and sleep for me ok. You cant cry all night my love." I spoke as she lifted her head up looking at me tears still sliding down her cheeks into my lap.

Before I could even move she put her forehead to mine, her eyes were closed as she wrapped her arms around my neck.

" You weren't texting other girls are dinner tonight were you? You were texting Bonten." she muttered between gasp of her trying to catch her breathe. Shattering my heart. That's why she was mad. She really thought I would do that to her.

"Yes, just Bonten. Making sure you were okay. I care about you Y/N. I want you to be okay, and you can't be okay with me right now. I'm sorry princess. I messed this up for us." I sighed into the crock of her neck giving her a slight kiss. She just cried harder into my shoulder. I felt every ounce of her emotion streaming into me, making my chest feel so heavy, so sad. 

" Let's get you to bed okay my love, we will talk in the morning." I muttered to her standing up and picking her legs up bridal style, just to put her down in the middle of the bed under the covers. She snuggled up into the pillow as I kissed her forehead. I turned her little light out on the nightstand and started for the door. 

"Please don't leave me." she muttered, I could tell she started crying again. The sound of her sad voice mixed with tears was the most horrible thing I have ever heard. I heard people beg for their lives with a gun to their forehead, but this was so much worse. I hated making her feel this way. I knew what I needed to do, to keep the promise I made her to always keep her safe. All I could do was continue towards the door.

"I'm sorry princess." was all I muttered as I closed the door behind me. Hearing her cry from the other side of her door woke a rage within me . I needed to fix this, somehow someway I needed to fix this.

"Thank you." Rin appeared around the corner patting me on the back.

"Yup" was all I said as I marched down the stairs, walking towards the kitchen were Bonten was still at talking. As I walked past them towards the front door with a fiery anger, I looked at Mikey "I will kill every last person if that means she gets to live happily and freely." and continued out the front door slamming it behind me.