Hungry

~ten~

Mikey only aloud you to roll the window down a little for reasons of someone seeing you. The crisp air slightly hitting your face as you closed your eyes made you feel calm and relaxed. Like there wasn't a complete shit show your brothers were involved in. The fact that everyone was out hunting down this gang because they tried to kill you made you uneasy. You didn't want all these people doing this for you. It felt all a little to much. Afraid of what could happen to your brothers or Sanzu. 

Its been 3 weeks since you last spoke to Sanzu. He hasn't tried to contact you or even come see you. You felt stupid, for letting yourself get feelings for someone like him. If he really wanted to despite what your brothers said he would of tried. He didn't, he just went out killing. Granted it was for you, he didn't even care to check up on you. You were letting the wind take all of that feeling out of you and flow out the window. Looking to just get through this and hopefully go back to a somewhat normal life, or as normal as Rin would let you live. 

Just as you were about to fall asleep you felt the car come to a stop. Mikey lightly tapping you making you roll your head towards him and opening your eyes.

"Yes?" you questioned looking at him waiting for a response.

"We're here lets go." Was all he said as he got out of the car and started walking to your side. Mikey opened your car door a raised his hand to help you out being he took the bigger truck. As you took his hand and hopped out. You felt the salty breeze past your cheeks and a huge smile danced across your lips. Closing your eyes and tilting your head back embracing your favorite place.

"And you didn't even wanna come." Mikey chuckled out still holding your hand starting to walk towards the beach.  It was weird seeing Mikey happy, even more strange he didn't let go of your hand. 

"How long are they going to be gone for?" you questioned as you kicked your shoes off to walk through the sand.

"As of right now a week. Could change depending on stuff." Mikey answered back grabbing your shoes from your hand to carry them. You looked at him with a questionable face as he took them from you. 

You pulled Mikey close to the water and sat down, him matching you. 

It was quite, the sun painting the sky pink and purple as it was setting. The waves crashing in the distance. This brought you happiness, making you forget all the bullshit, clearing your mind.

"You're going to be okay you know." Mikey muttered looking over to you staring out into the water. You looked over to him as he broke the silence meeting his gazing that brought comfort. His eyes didn't look lifeless or emotionless. They look different, you couldn't exactly put it into words but he looked almost happy. 

"You look happy Mikey, very unlike you." you giggled out looking back over the ocean. Still feeling Mikey's gaze on you.

"It's because I am." He said through a small smirk laying his back against the sand looking up into the sky. You joined up starring up at the same sky. You put your hands besides you, your pinky meeting Mikey's hand. You looked over to him and he was already there to meet your gaze. 

"What?" you asked.

"You deserve better Y/N." was all he said as he laid there. Speechless you just looked back unsure of what he even meant. Did he mean a better life ? Better then Sanzu? It was a confusing sentence leaving you just to continue to look at him. 

"Dont look at me like that Mr.Sano." you giggled finally finding words to say as you turned your head back to face the sky trying not to blush, but found your fingers intertwining with his. You didn't have Ran to comfort you like he did when you two came here, but Mikey was the next best thing right now. Mikey was truly always nice to you. Always making sure you were okay and checking on you ever since your brothers started to bring him around. Even texting you during the past 3 weeks making sure everything was okay or if you needed anything. He never showed this type of concern with anything, it was confusing.

 As you looked back at him staring up at the sky. He looked so relaxed, like he had nothing running through his mind. Just simply enjoying himself without having to worry about Bonten business. You enjoyed this soft side of Mikey, knowing you'd probably never see it again. Something within you told you this was a good idea, was it the sadness of feeling alone or just sadness in general, who knows but you did it. You squeezed Mikey's hand causing him to look over at you. You just looked at each other taking in his gaze and him doing the same. He smirked but as he went to turn his head back to the sky you kissed him. 

The kiss was soft and sweet but you wanted more. You cupped your free hand to his soft face to deepen the kiss, he did the same back. It wasn't the same as kissing Sanzu, there wasn't the passion or feelings there, but it felt nice and comforting something you've been yearning for the past month. Mikey broke away from the kiss and looked at you rubbing his thumb across your cheek back and forth.  

"You know this cant happen Y/N." was all he muttered breaking eye contact and dropping his hand from your check.  

"Yeah I'm stupid, I'm sorry." you pulled your hand away just laying on your back looking up trying not to cry. You want to feel something, but rejection just added more to your sadness. Making you feel not enough, or validated. Making you feel emptiness.

"Hey lets go and watch a movie or something." Mikey said standing up and reaching for your hands to help you.

"Fine." you deadpanned avoiding any eye contact with him. You were mad at yourself for even trying something like that. This was Mikey, emotionless Mikey, even if you were doing this to feel something he certainly was not the one to help you. You both just silently walked back to the truck and started heading back the house.