Hungry

~twelve~

Sanzu just looked at you confused but worried which was very unlike him. There was an eerie silence which felt like forever but only being a few seconds before he broke the silence.

"Y/N I'm so sorry. We got to go right now." in a frantic tone.

"I'm fine here with Mikey, I'm going back to sleep." you said breaking eye contact to go lay back down. Angry that he thinks he can just run into your house demanding you leave with him. He has not talked to you in over a month. Acting like he doesn't care about you, not even a text. Placing your head in Mikey's lap as it was before just wanting to fall asleep.

"Y/N, it's your brothers." He mumbled low but enough for you two to hear it.

Your body went cold. Everything clicking in your head. That's why you haven't heard from Ran in a few days. You felt your eyes start to burn as you shot up and looked at Sanzu. The world felt like it was moving but still, everything in your vision was foggy, non-recognizable. Every sound becoming distant and muffled. Until you felt Mikey pick you up bridal style, giving you to Sanzu as they started running to the front door. The slam of the door taking you out of your trance.

"Put me down!" you started to scream and punch Sanzu on his chest.

"Princess stop, its okay." Sanzu whispered to you rubbing his thumb on your arm, that feeling you were yearning for flooding back into your body. You wanted so badly to just run, run until you couldn't feel your legs. You were just stuck, you couldn't move, couldn't grasp life. Everything was numb, all you could do was place your head on his chest as tears burned down your face.

"Are they dead?" you said with no emotion.

"It is going to be okay baby girl." Was all Sanzu said back to you.

You felt lifeless. You knew that answer like that back of your hand. You have heard your brothers say that so many times. Your brothers. Fuck.

Sanzu held you the entire way in the back of the truck. Him and Mikey going back and forth about the missions and leads. What was a dead end and what wasn't.

You were so tired, half drunk and crying you couldn't focus on their conversation. Being in Sanzu's arms felt wrong but he was the only one that made you feel ok. You just fucked his boss on your couch not even an hour ago and now you are in the back of a truck as he holds you. Life was so complicated.

You were awoken by Sanzu who was getting out of the car and going into one of the warehouses. You felt his heartbeat speed up as your head was still against his chest. He never let you go since you been together. 

You heard doors opening and closing along with shuffling and not a single voice. You knew all of Bontens top guys were here but you couldn't bring yourself to open your eyes. 

Sanzu kissed your forehead he whispered, "All right princess, it's going to be okay." 

You opened your eyes slowly. 

"OH MY GOD LET ME FUCKING GO." you scream as you see Ran and Rin laying on a table with Bonten nurses and Doctors over top of them. 

"Stop Y/N, you can't go over to them they are working on them." Sanzu softly spoke back to you holding you tighter. 

"Get her out of here and to her room." Mikey spoke sternly.

Sanzu carried you as you sobbed and screamed begging to go back. He reached your room and shut the door, laying you down on your bed and sitting next to you rubbing your back. 

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED SANZU WHY DID YOU LET THIS HAPPEN." you screamed brokenly threw your sobs, trying to get any last bit of air into your lungs. 

"Breathe baby breathe." Sanzu muttered softly rubbing your back .

"Do not fucking touch me." you snapped rolling over and slapping his hand. 

"You do not get to touch me or comfort me." you spit staring right at him. 

He looked so defeated. So alone, upset, broken. You sat up " Tell me what happened." you said softly with tears streaming down your face.

He grabbed you into a hug and whispered, "Im so sorry, I should of been better. I should of protected your brothers better. That should be me. Im so sorry Y/N." 

You just sat there shocked. He has never acted like this, so soft and vulnerable, apologizing. 

He pulled away from the hug and looked at you wiping your tears. 

"We were so close, we got a tip of where they would be. We scouted the place for days, learning everything there was about the building, the security, the number of members inside, and him. We had the perfect plan, but they already had the drop. They knew we were coming. So by the time we ended up getting in there it was set up. There was a shit ton of guys in there waiting for us. As soon as I seen him, I ran for him. I saw red and I didn't care about anything else but making sure this man never tried to touch you again. I put a bullet into his skull but his guys had shot Ran and Rin and a bunch of other guys. They were the only two who were still breathing. So Kakucho and I took them here and had our medical staff meet us. Then I drove straight to you." Sanzu spilled with the most heartbreaking face. All you could do is sob. You fell right into him screaming crying, begging for your brothers to be ok. He kissed your forehead and kept apologizing while rubbing your back. Minutes turned to hours and you ended up crying yourself to sleep in his arms.

You woke up to Mikey leaning in the door way lowly speaking to Sanzu. 

"Are they okay? Can I see them?" you asked looking between the both of them.

"We need to talk to you before okay?" Sanzu says as he slowly walks back to your bed. Mikey with the same lifeless look in his eyes.

"Just let me go see them, Please." you muttered back, trying to keep back tears.

"Listen, Princess. Your brothers loved you more then life itself. They did everything they could to give you the best and the safest life. You know that right?" Sanzu muttered while rubbing your thigh. 

You just starred blankly. You couldn't understand anything else that he was saying. It was just noise. You felt emptiness. Your whole world had caved in around you in a matter of seconds. Everything you knew was gone. Every last bit of your comfort was gone. Life was meaningless. 

Sanzu grabbed your face and starred at you but you just looked right threw him. 

"Princess, look at me." he whispers to you.

"Take me to them now." was all you said. 

You walk behind Sanzu as Mikey followed. 

Everything around you felt empty. You felt like you weren't even in your own body. Everything around you was just there, just like you. You turn the corner and see all of Bonten there. You put your head down and grabbed Sanzu's hand letting him bring you there without having to make eye contact with anyone. He squeezed it reassuring you that he had you. 

He stops and you slightly bump into him and lift your head.

You drop to your knees letting out a blood curling scream and tears streamed down your face. Sanzu bent down to hold you while you cried.

"My love, I'm so sorry." Sanzu whispered as he kissed your forehead holding you close to him.