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Chapter 24
Elijah's feet brought him deep into the woods, but it was still inside the property. His heart couldn't take it. It was hurting him to know that his father hurt many carriers, and now, the organization is after Elijah, throwing carriers after carriers on the road.
Blurry-eyed from too many tears, Elijah sobbed softly, his small hands clutching his shirt. After so many years of yearning for his parents, and hoping to know things about them, Elijah finally found out the truth.
The painful and soul-crushing truth.
When Elijah was in the basement alone, he would imagine himself laughing with his family during a picnic. When the Cruzes screamed at Elijah and worked the boy to the bones, Elijah kept his hopes up; after all, his family may be up there searching for him. Despite his knees bleeding and his nails and fingers scraped from too much cleaning, Elijah held on to that sliver of hope; the prospect of having a complete family.
All his life, Elijah's wish is simple: a happy family and someone who will love his broken bits. Why is it so hard to attain such a simple dream? Why can't God grant Elijah that simple wish?
Elijah feels so betrayed. Everything is crumbling around him, and there's no way out. Even if there is, Elijah wouldn't take it. "I am so hateful. I shouldn't have been born. I wouldn't have suffered so much, and my parents wouldn't be exposed to danger."
Everything hurts-- Elijah's heart, mind, and soul. Despite the hurt, Devon's smiling face flashed in Elijah's mind. The sweet, gentle Devon. "That's right. I bet he hates me now. I'm not the pure, innocent sunshine that he knew. I'm a sham and a murderer. These useless feelings of mine will never come to fruition."
...carriers... pheromones... only affect the person they fell in love with...
Trevor's words kept on haunting Elijah since earlier. "What if I seduced Devon because of my scent? Is that why he's nice to me? Then, if I told him I like him, everything will change? He will never like me," Elijah mumbled to himself, as anxiety and insecurity began to consume his system.
The problem with self-deprecation is that it's a rabbit hole you willingly jumped into. It will only make you hate yourself, and you tend to blame yourself for all the things out of your control. That is what's happening to Elijah right now. He feels so undeserved of Devon's kindness and thoughtfulness that his mind wanders about some choices that others may think as crazy, but for Elijah, it makes sense.
Lany is gone. His parents are gone too. If Oliver and Jesse found out about who Elijah truly is, they will hate him too. And Devon... Elijah can already see the look of disgust on Devon's face. Just the thought of Devon getting repulsed by Elijah tears the boy's heart to pieces.
Elijah took a deep breath to alleviate the pain in his chest. Suddenly, he feels so exhausted. Crying is so taxing, and feeling is emotionally draining. What can Elijah do? He cares too much. He's a delicate boy that was thrown into the real world without notice.
Looking around the area, Elijah noticed a twinkling item in the ground. "A glass shard?"
Do it, Eli. No one loves you anymore. Do it! Urged the voice inside Elijah's head.
Elijah backed away and pressed his body onto the trunk of the large tree, horrified. "No! That's bad! I won't do it!" Elijah wanted to believe himself, but why does ending his life sounds appealing? Is it because no one cares for him anymore?
"No, Eli. Devon will get sad. I don't want him to be sad," Elijah convinced himself and shut his eyes. He will never do it. It may have crossed his mind from time to time, but he remained hopeful.
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✅ Set Me Free |The Phantom Series #2| [MXM] [MPREG]
Ficção GeralAfter seventeen years of living in the darkness, Elijah Harris was finally free and intent on discovering and seeing the world in his own eyes. On the other hand, Devon Slane wanted none other than to cage his jaded heart and trap himself in the da...