𝓦𝓸𝔀, 𝓘'𝓶 𝓲𝓷 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 ~ 𝓚𝓵𝓮𝓲𝓷𝓹𝓱𝔂 / 𝓒𝓸𝓷𝓶𝓪𝓷

.－ Eleven // Connor －. (Rem;)

Connor's P.O.V (Remade)

Skipping. That's what I'm doing. I'm skipping class. Why? Because I need a fucking breather. Of course, the teachers were fine with it. They know who I am. The kid who tried to kill himself. And failed. Why wouldn't they have sympathy for that? For me? But I fucking hate it. How they treat me. Like I'm so special. Like I can do whatever I want, as long as it isn't running off to some secluded area to try again.

I wouldn't want to-- not now. I'm getting better. I'm trying to get better. I'm trying to be better. I try to be more helpful around the house, try to make new friends. (Michael, Veronica, Jeremy.. Jared.) I'm still just a socially inept freak to everyone, though. It's a miracle that Jared even talks to me, really. That he got to know me, like, the real me? Does that make sense? For a while I was just fucking angry at everyone because they all looked at me like a monster. A freak. It didn't help, but it made me feel a little better to at least live up to that role. For some reason.

But-- like I said, I'm better now. I'm not constantly thinking about death, about shit like that. But then, why can't I call him?

Why can't I just call Miguel right now and tell him that I'm sorry? For scaring him, maybe? He must have known about what happened, right? My finger hovers over his contact. Did his number change? Does he still live where he used to? I guess it's now or never, huh.

I click it. It brings me to our latest conversation. Not even really a conversation. Just a random string of nervous texts. The call button is right there. I can click it so easily, but then... will he hate me? Is he going to think that I did it because I didn't give a shit about him? If so, does he think I still don't? Shit.

I close his contact, shut off my phone, and stuff it deep into my bag. Maybe another time. I don't really think I'm ready to face that kind of thing yet. I already almost died because of a fucking thumbs-up emoji response, so of course I can't handle actually talking to him. I'd feel way too guilty. Even if he tried to make it better by being nice.

~

"Hey, mom?" She turns around, staring at me. Directly into my eyes. "Yes?" Deep breaths, right, Connor? Deep breaths. "Did... did Miguel ever, like. Um. Call?" She smiles. That same exhausted smile she wears everywhere she goes. "Sweetie," She starts. "He was at the hospital waiting for you to wake up."

"Really?" That was a little louder then I wanted it to come out initially. "Yep. He hasn't called you, yet?" I shake my head. "Oh, well then maybe you could call him. He was pretty worried about you." I smile at her. "Thanks." She nods back. "Of course." Then she goes back to doing dishes. 

"Hey, can I help with those?" I set my bag down, and take off my shoes. "I can dry, or wash, or put away. Anything you need the most help with." Her smile perks up a bit. Happier. That's nice. "Well, if you really want to, it's a little hard for me to reach the high cupboards. If you could help me put things in there, that'd be nice." 

"Sure."

~

Around twenty minutes later, and we're finished. Mom's already thanked me about seven times. But it's okay-- I'm just glad that she's happy. The door opens, and I look over her shoulder. "Zoe!" She says, enthusiastically. 

"Uh.. hi?" I stare at her for a minute. She looks at me just like almost everyone else. Like I'm a monster. I rub my arm, and dart my eyes away from her. She's giving me a glare now. "I'm gonna go to my room." She states, walking up the stairs. And then that's that. She fucking hates me. "She's going to warm up to you at some point, you know." Mom chimes in.

"No, it's... it's okay if she doesn't ever. At this point I kind of deserve it." She pats me on the back. "You don't deserve it. And once she sees that your getting better, she'll go softer on you. It's just.." I sigh. "I'm going to my room too. Call me if you need anything." I grab my bag, and head upstairs.

Word Count : 777

Time : 12:06 p.m. lol

Inspiration : Very nice <3

P.O.V For The Next Chapter :  NERD