𝓦𝓸𝔀, 𝓘'𝓶 𝓲𝓷 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 ~ 𝓚𝓵𝓮𝓲𝓷𝓹𝓱𝔂 / 𝓒𝓸𝓷𝓶𝓪𝓷

.－ Seven // Connor －. (Re;)

Connor's P.O.V (Rewritten)

I laugh. I hope he can see the genuinity, I try to make it so he can. He laughs back, sort of like a giggle and a laugh mixed. It's cute, I'm not complaining. But I feel like I'm taking him telling me that as, like, a proposal. I wish my fucking brain didn't do that. Make everything so big. It was a few sentences, of just him telling me that he was sorry for, what exactly? Being real for a second? I'm pretty sure he only noticed that I don't stalk him, or some shit. Well, not completely, but with the way he's acting I'd say he's shoved the entire 'stalking' idea in general under a rug. Which is good. But how the fuck did he know about the whole Evan ordeal?

"Your staring, Murphy." He exclaims, quietly. I blink, and look away. "Right, sorry, sorry." He laughs again. "You sound like him, you know." Now he's stuffing a hand in his pocket. "Not in a bad way, Evan can be... well, Evan can occasionally be okay as a human." I nod. "Right, no, of course he can. I didn't mean to come off like-- like, he hasn't ever been a decent person. I'm sure he has, he's just sort of fucked himself over with what he did, y'know?" 

"Yeah, uh. You didn't come off that way. I was just saying, so like I didn't come off as-- you know. Insulting you. Or something. 'Cause your pretty decent too." He moves he other hand up and scratched the back of his neck. Fuck, did he really just say that? "Anyway, chem's a bitch. So, I'll see you tomorrow at lunch?" Shit, seriously? "Really?"

"Like I said, man. Your a reject now, so get used to being the all of us other rejects' friends." Of course, me being me, all I can do is thumbs-up him in hopes that he gets that I'm an awkward fuck that can't interact normally. "Seeya." 

"Sure." 

I'll figure out how he knows about the truth of 'The Connor Project', or whatever the fuck, later. For now, all I can do is hope that no one can sense my absolute gay panic while it lasts.

~

"Have you been taking the medication?"

God fucking damnit. I'm back here again.

"Yeah. Twice a day, right?" She nods, pushing up her glasses. "That's good. Did you have any side effects to them, or would you have any reason to switch?" I sigh. "No, I'm fine. Everything is fine. No side effects."

"Have you told anyone?" This question sticks in my head. "About what." She glances at the clock. "The medication, Connor." I shake my head back at her. "No one other than mom and Larry. Is this almost over?"

She sets her pencil down on her clipboard, setting the whole thing on her lap. "Yes. We're about done. Keep up the good work, alright? We're trying to look for therapists for you as well as a med that won't allow you to take two daily." We stare at each other for a minute. Just silence. Ugly silence. Stupid silence. She doesn't even know what to do with me anymore. I get it, I don't really open up a lot, I guess. 

"Thanks. I'll see you next week," I finally give in. She nods. "Hopefully by then we'll have a better situation for you." I now get up from my chair, walking over to the door out of this fucking hospital. "Yeah. Cool."

~

"So.. how was it?" I don't turn my head, don't even really acknowledge that my mother is anything other than a voice. "Fine." I can still feel her sagging smile, though. She's constantly trying to fix things that are far too broken. It makes me angry. Fucking angry that I can't just do it. Because, really, why can't I? If people stopped baby-ing me once in a while then maybe I could actually help. 

"That's so nice, dear." I nod, and walk up the stairs. "Sorry. I have to take my pills." She sighs quietly. "Okay." I walk into my room, shutting the door. A guitar Larry got me sits by my bed. Along with a journal full of songs that I'm never going to sing to anyone. 

Word Count : 732

Time : 10:09 at night .3. Edited Time : 7:12 p.m. lol

Inspo : Okay-ish haha // GREAT WOHLEEWJHUPIO

Shoutouts : @iNetflixi ; @arizonaiceteasscos both of y'all are great <3