𝓦𝓸𝔀, 𝓘'𝓶 𝓲𝓷 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 ~ 𝓚𝓵𝓮𝓲𝓷𝓹𝓱𝔂 / 𝓒𝓸𝓷𝓶𝓪𝓷

. － One // Connor － . (Re;)

(Rewritten) Connor's P.O.V

The Connor Project. That's what everyone chatted about on social media, when I woke up. Evan Hansen-- Whatever that jerk's real personality is under everything I'm about to say about him, I couldn't care less- told everyone me and him were friends, and now my parents have this whole thing against him. Like he's the antagonist of their broken story, and yet also the savior character who comes in and makes everything better. We weren't friends, and honestly, until that speech everyone's been posting, I had forgotten what his voice sounded like. Technically, we did meet. At lunch of last year, and at the same time, the computer lab. He's a goddamn creep. Even if I do feel slightly bad for the whole shoving thing at lunch and lash-out in the lab, I couldn't remotely give a flying fuck about this person. I don't really have a 'Mr. Nice Guy' act for Zoe's stalkers, so there's that too. 

And, due to my research, I've figured out that he's also stalking some other kid. Some guy with glasses who has cute freckles and an obvious hatred toward Evan as well. And I'm not gonna lie, glasses-boy is pretty. I'd kiss him without warning. But, like there's ever actually going to be a moment where that has time to happen. A full-blown kiss has to go more than awkward glances in a hallway. We'd probably have to be friends, bond, hang out. Obviously I've felt that sort of attraction before, but it was different. M was different, so it makes sense. He's clearly never going to notice me as anything more than that social reject that's been promptly labeled a freak. 

Sometimes we'll pass. If I'm lucky enough to find him and make that transaction come to exist. But not normally. Once in a blue moon is a pretty damn good expression for how many times I do it on a daily basis. Usually: none. Sometimes: one. My little crush has left me at a point of no return, where I'll end up tuning everything out and focusing on him. Only him. He makes something like walking down the hall more amazing then it should be. I can feel little serotonin boosts when he walks past, or cracks open a book, or skims through a binder. I can't help following in Evan Hansen's footsteps and stalking him as well. How can I not? I wouldn't get to see a different nerdy-ass T-shirt tucked under a worn out grey jacket. Yesterday it was Lord Of The Rings. Today? Who knows. Maybe Star Wars or The Matrix. 

"Quit it," Groans a clearly annoyed voice in front of me. Or, more to the left of me. Snickering follows. I turn, and focus my eyes on the at least six different documents on the floor, scattered, being stomped on by some of the most stereotypical bullies this side of the world. Kurt and Ram, the two that gave true meaning to the word 'dumbassery'. But if you say it to their face they'll probably kick your ass, so yeah. Avoid that. Usually, I wouldn't have cared. Until my eyes traveled up to the person whose documents were being stepped on. I immediately stare them both in the eyes. Kurt shivers, I can see his shoulders bounce. And Ram makes a run for it. "And stay away." I croak out, hoarsely. Clearly I don't talk a lot out loud, have you noticed? "Hey, thanks." I can't help but melt a little at that. He's fucking talking to me.

"My Geometry homework's only half smashed to pieces, thanks to you." He smiles. Of course there's a gap in his teeth. Of fucking course. "Uh, y..your welcome?" He finishes picking the pages up, and scratches the back of his neck. "I'm thanking you, man. At least now I can copy this onto a different page in peace instead of having to do it all over again." I force a smile back, clinging onto my side-bag strap for dear life. Inhale, exhale. "So, your Jared, right?" 

"I'm surprised you know my name." He laughs, slamming his locker door after shoving some things into his backpack. "Pretty sure we have History together," I choke out. Normal conversations? Who's she? "Also, uh" Quit stammering, Murphy. "Alana said she was friends with you. A few weeks ago. Or, what was it she said," He shrugs. "'Acquaintances'?" I keep a grin plastered on my face. "There it is." He does the classic, 'This is awkward, i'm totally checking the time, oh no I'm late' move, bringing out his phone, and checking the screen. "Oh shit, man. Sorry. I've got to tutor some exchange student. But I'll seeya around?" Probably never. "Hopefully." And then I'm back to walking. Through the gym doors, past the potted fake plants near the locker room, and into the back room. 

Word Count : 860

Time : 10:10 p.m. at night (Make a wish!) Edited Time : 9:40 p.m. at night -

Inspiration : Good so far

P.O.V For The Next Chapter : Probably Jared

Reason For This Chapter : @arizonaiceteass !(And for this book! Tysm, dude!)