𝓦𝓸𝔀, 𝓘'𝓶 𝓲𝓷 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 ~ 𝓚𝓵𝓮𝓲𝓷𝓹𝓱𝔂 / 𝓒𝓸𝓷𝓶𝓪𝓷

. － Thirty Two // Connor － . (Rem;)

Connor's P.O.V (Remade)

I set my bag down, sitting in the chair furthest away from my classmates. Honestly? I wish Jared was in more of my classes. Well, I mean, of course I do-- he's my boyfriend. Which is much more than I could ever ask for. And I know he's got secrets, I've got secrets. It's a human thing, I suppose.

So I don't want to push him on it. This. Us. His family, his life. But if there is anything that's bothering him, then I'd really want to know so I could fix it. Maybe it's boyfriend instinct, but I just don't want him to get hurt anymore. I'm not an idiot, I can spot the scars wrapping around his wrists. 

I have them to-- and it's fucking terrible that he'd ever have to go through that. What I had to. I assume that's probably where my deep-seated Evan hatred comes from? Well, partially. I'm obviously pissed that he lied to my entire family to get with my sister, but fucking traumatizing my boyfriend? Yeah, that's just the cherry on top and it does not fucking help his case at all.

I tune back into reality, out of my thoughts before I get way more angry than I should and just start self-deprecating again over the fact that I could ever-- like-- get that angry. And take it out on people. On my family, on Zoe, on everyone. And that fucking sucked. It sucks. It's not going to stop sucking. 

Breathe in-- It's fine. My mom still greets me with a no-longer-fake smile. Zoe seems to be getting less annoyed at me. (If only a little, baby steps.) And I have Jared. --Breathe out. 

"Hey, psst," I look up from the dark blue notebook in front of me that I had subconsciously pulled out of my bag. "Yeah? What?" I whisper back, looking over to the teacher to check if me (And whoever was talking to me) are in the clear. He writes something down on the huge white board presenting itself to the class, still blabbing on. Yep. All clear. 

Looking back, I can clearly see one Christine Canigula sitting at my table. It's odd, really, because we've barely met, and I feel like she should know I'm bad news just by examining the fact that nobody here dares to sit by the 'Big Bad Connor Murphy'. They don't even glance at me unless I do something disruptive. Which I don't. Anymore.

"Nobody was using this seat, right? I was late, I had a rehearsal before this." I nod, opening the notebook I wasn't exactly using. "Yeah. It's usually a free-for-all that nobody seems too interested in over here, anyway." She tilts her head, placing an arm on the table, getting in a relaxed sort of pose. "Well, I mean, nobody usually. What I'm trying to say is that that's usually, like, vacant, so.. It's all yours." 

"Why's it usually vacant?"

I tap the first page in my book, lightly enough so it wouldn't make a huge disruption. "People here aren't very fond of me." I respond, shoving my bangs out of my eyes, as non-awkwardly as I can. "Oh. That sucks." She blinks a few times before continuing. "Uhh.. do you mind if I ask why? Or would it be too personal? I'm totally cool if you don't want t--" The teacher cut her off. "Ah, new student. Why don't you come up and introduce yourself?" His eyes travel toward me, then dart away. I roll my eyes at that, tapping my page more aggressively now. Cool it. Calm down.

She walks up to the front, cooly. Like the walk of someone who truly doesn't give a shit about what anyone else thinks of them. Which is rare, but I assume that theater kids that love to perform on stage are sort of prone to being that type of person.