Niall sat alone in his bedroom, curled up on his bed cuddling a pillow, wishing that it was either of his two lovers. He had no idea what he was going to do and the thought sickened him. On the one hand he had Liam; the most caring, considerate and warm person he knew, he always put Niall first and treated him like an absolute God, his touch was heavenly and he could spend hours wrapped in his arms, knowing that he was safe. But then there was Zayn; Zayn was just as caring and considerate, but he wasn’t gentle- he didn’t treat Niall like a little kid. In fact, he made Niall feel naughty and mischievous and while Niall hated to admit it, he love it. He loved it when Zayn was rough with him; how relentless he was, how he was just as insecure as Niall and how sometimes Niall had to look after him and dominate. All in all, he adored both equally.
Niall couldn’t sleep that night; he felt both confused and guilty. He hated the act that he had been cheated on the two people he loved and the idea of having to break one person’s heart and potentially the entire band had him doubled over in pain, throwing up into the toilet. Niall walked over to the sink and looked in the mirror; all he saw was a broken little whore and it crippled him. The bags under his eyes made him look like he had been beaten up and the crying had left his entire face red and puffy, his hair a mess and his throat sore.
He opened the medicine cabinet by the side of the sink, searching for some cough medicine; despite this crisis situation he still had to perform and with his throat like this there was no chance that would be possible. He went to pull out the sticky bottle when he accidently knocked a smaller container onto the floor. He picked it up and read the label. They were Zayn’s sleeping tablets from when they had first started out and Zayn was too nervous to sleep.
Niall popped the cap open and poured two out onto his hand. He placed them on his tongue, poured himself a glass of water and gulped them down. He went to put them back, then looked at himself in the mirror once more I’m a mess. Sure, they both think they love me. But how can they? I have to smash one of their hearts tomorrow. I’ve cheated on both of them. I’m a whore; a dirty little whore. Niall opened the bottle against and poured all of the tablets into his mouth, pouring another glass of water and swallowing them down in one.
His eyesight went blurry almost immediately and his own imaged faded in the mirror as he slowly fell to the ground.
*
A couple of hours later Louis woke up; he and Harry were sharing an apartment with Niall for the time-being, while Zayn and Liam both had their own place (although nobody would have guessed it; they lived down the hall and spent all of their time at Harry and Louis’).
Louis went to the bathroom but the door was locked. It was strange for Niall to be up this early and Harry was still in bed. Louis knocked gently on the door- no answer. He knocked again and whispered Niall’s name- still no answer. After three or four attempts, Louis was panicking. He decided to kick the door in.
The sight before him gave him goose bumps; Niall was slumped on the floor, his lips blue and his body limp. Louis searched for a pulse and found one, but only faintly. He ran back to his room and woke Harry, who jumped straight out of bed and ran to call for an ambulance. Louis tried to put Niall into the recovery position, but he had no idea what he was really doing and by the end he gave up.
When the ambulance eventually arrived, Niall’s pulse was even fainter and Louis and Harry looked on terrified as the paramedics set to work. “Any idea why he might have done this?” one of them asked, turning to the two traumatized boys who were trembling in each other’s gasps. Harry started relaying the story of the love triangle, while Harry’s look turned to rage and he darted off down the long corridor. He banged on both Zayn’s and Liam’s door, which were conveniently opposite each other and both boys came to see what the commotion was, both rubbing their eyes and standing in their pyjamas; they had obviously both just been woken up. Niall was just being wheeled out on a stretcher as Louis began to rant “Have you seen what you’ve done?” pointing to the younger boy “he came home in bits last night because you’ve made him choose. Carefree, loving Niall has taken an overdose because of you two selfish dicks wanting him all to yourself- giving him some fucking ridiculous ultimatum.” Harry ran down the hall and pulled Louis in to a hug while the other two boys ran in unison towards Niall in complete shock and feeling unbelievably guilty. To their dismay, the paramedics forbade them going in the ambulance, worried that given the circumstances it might make the patient worse, were he to wake up.
*
Once Louis had calmed down and Harry had convinced him that Liam and Zayn weren’t to blame as the whole situation was just a total mess, he offered to drive them all to the hospital.
When they arrived, Harry persuaded Louis that maybe they should wait in the car for a while and give the other two chance to sort things out. Louis gave Zayn and Liam a quick warning about not stressing the blonde boy out, before letting them go.
When they got to the private room that Niall had been given, their hearts broke a little bit. Niall was lying asleep on the bed, tubes and wires covering his body, monitors and beeping things surrounding him. Zayn grabbed Liam’s hand tightly as the doctor gave them the details “Mr Horan had one of the biggest overdoses I’ve seen. He’s lucky not to have died almost instantaneously really. Obviously we’ve had to pump his stomach and as far as we can see there shouldn’t be any permanent brain damage though, so we’re just waiting for his to wake up now.”
Liam and Zayn pulled each other into a relieved hug, before untangling themselves and walking to the darkened room, taking a seat on either side of the bed and each of them taking one of Niall’s hands into their own. “This is all out fault” Zayn whispered.
“No it isn’t.” Liam replied “This is nobody’s fault. Like Harry said, the whole thing is just a mess. And Niall still has to make a decision. Just because he’s gone and tried to kill himself, doesn’t mean I’m going to feel guilty. He has no right to do this to me.” There was just a hint of anger in his voice, mostly just sounding upset.
Zayn looked up into Liam’s eyes “You know. I know we said we couldn’t all be together, but would a three-way relationship really be that bad?”
Liam half sighed, half laughed “Zayn, don’t be so naive. That could never work. You’ll always love Niall more than you could ever love me and every time you’re with him I’ll be jealous and every time I’m with him you’ll feel just the same. It won’t work.”
Zayn moved his hand from Niall’s and placed it over Liam’s “Liam, I had no idea you were gay. I loved you before I even saw Niall in that way and yes I do love him with all my life now, but I love you too. I just never thought I’d be able to act on it until now. And as for the jealousy issue- we are in this together. You and I are the only two people in the world who know how this feels. I understand you.”
Liam looked down at Niall and then back up at Zayn, not moving his hand from beneath the older boy’s “But I don’t love you Zayn and I know deep down, you don’t really love me either- you’re just saying that to please Niall and that’s not fair on any of us.” He shifted his hand away and stood up to leave.
Zayn stood up too and followed him out, not wanting to cause a scene in the room in case it woke Niall up. “Liam, you can’t just walk away. I know I don’t really love you yet, but I can learn and so can you. We can do this for Niall” He shouted down the corridor.
Liam turned around and Zayn could see that he was crying “No. Zayn we have to let him choose. I can bear losing him if it makes him happy. But the one thing that won’t make him happy is you and I fighting over him every day like he’s some toy.”
Zayn went to reply but was interrupted when a nurse came out into the corridor. “Sorry to interrupt you gentlemen, I’m Danielle, your friend’s nurse. Mr Horan has just woken up-are either of you ‘Zayn’ by any chance? Niall keeps asking for you.”
