Shut the door
Turn the light off
If I wanna be with you
I wanna feel your love
I wanna lay beside you
I cannot hide this
Even though I try
Walking into the silent, still room, Harry shut the door behind himself and dragged his feet over to the bed. The room was still engulfed in darkness, the only light coming from the objects to the side of the familiar bed. He lay down on the uncomfortable bed slowly, almost trying to be careful as if not to wake the sleeping beauty beside him. But obviously that wouldn’t happen, not now, not ever.
The sight made his heart ache, gave him the feeling that it was dropping one hundred foot and smashing into tiny pieces; but he had to do it. He needed that extra moment.
Today was the end. He knew it was but he didn’t let it register in his messed up mind. He carried on as normal; well, as normal as things had been for the past three months. The trailing around feeling emotionless, the sympathetic looks, the pitied expressions - that was normal to him now. He tried to act like he was coping, and to the untrained eye it looked that way, but not to those close to him. Not to those who had also been affected by this. At first he attempted to hide it from them but they soon found out. Of course they found out. His life wasn’t private anymore; and the one thing which made his life feel normal was slipping away from him.
Heart beats harder
Time escapes me
Trembling hands touch skin
It makes this harder
And the tears stream down my face
The broken boy let his head fall loosely back onto the pillow, his mind racing with thoughts. He could see the other boy out the corner of his eye. It was a subconscious glance that happened every time. An unwanted fleeting image that at that precise moment, he wasn’t prepared to view.
When Harry had let his thoughts settle, he turned his head to the side. Every time he saw him, his breath hitched; his heart beat harder. Even before everything that had happened his words would be caught in his throat mid sentence when this boy walked into the room. Just one smile gave him butterflies for the rest of the day. Just one wink had his mind racing of the endless romantic possibilities they could do that night. Because it wasn’t seduction or lust with them; it was love.
Pure love. The type of love that would induce those around the couple to feel like they were constantly intruding on an intimate moment. The type of love that would be the envy of anyone. The type of love which made time pass in fast forward.
Harry used to be proud of the love he had with Louis. He wouldn’t have exchanged it for any other type; no matter how tempting a more sexual love was. But now was the time he had come to resent it. The fact that every moment went so quickly, time escaped them.
His right hand lightly touched Louis’ left. Harry wasn’t sure whether the sparks that he felt be ignited were from their passionate aura, or just from the coldness of the other boy’s hand. Harry’s heart clenched at the contact. Everything was so much harder. The simple touches. The simple words on his behalf. He felt one of the common tears roll down his cheek as he squeezed his eyes shut to try and cope with the pain in his heart. The more he pressed his eyelids together, the more tears would stream out unwillingly. They never stopped.
If we could only have this life for one more day
If we could only turn back time
