At first glance

22/I miss her

⋆Landon Kate ⋆

I walk in, complete silence.
She's supposed to be here because it's Monday and this is the time when she comes back usually. Where is she?

I search the bathroom before heading to the bedroom and also searching the bathroom In there but no little pink anywhere, I go to the living room and kitchen but it's all empty and that's when I decide to grab my phone and text her or call... wait why the fuck am I concerned? I fucking hate that girl I shouldn't be looking around my apartment for her.

I sigh and plop on the couch running my hands down my face and smithing my hair back.

No, I need to fucking know, right now.

I pick up the phone again and start writing down a text to her.

Me: Where are you Pink? And why is my apartment empty?

I send the message but nothing, no response, and not even fucking delivered, she blocked me!

"Fucking bitch!" I yell out before smashing my fist into the table and good fucking thing it was wood because if it were glass it would fuck me up and I would have to clean up.

It did hurt though but the pain is long forgotten when the thought of her leaving my apartment without telling me nagged at my brain. She left and she blocked me.

I get up and leave the apartment to head to her house and see if she might be there, or she could be at the hospital where her mom is. She could be discharged by now it's been two weeks and a half since I last been here and she was still at the hospital.

Fuck I hope she's still there.

...

She was not at the hospital, matter of fact she had been discharged a week and a half ago.
And now I'm on my way to her house which is farther from the hospital but I didn't care I needed to find her and give her a piece of my mind for blocking me.

How fucking dare she!

Oh my gosh, I am going to kill myself if she isn't at her house too, if she's not there where else could she have gone? She has nowhere to stay.

She only has me, to take care of her...only if she's ran away with that guy she showed up at the hospital that day.

Fuck! No!
She can't! She wouldn't!

I think I am going insane, since that day I fucked her and left I have been craving her day after day, I couldn't stop thinking about her and I didn't want to.
She was so good with me, she had me, she got me so well, she belonged to me that day and I can't believe I left her like that.

Sore and tired, lonely and broken.

I've fucked up.

I felt so much that night when I left her, I felt way too fucking much. I didn't know what was happening to me, to my body, to my mind and heart. I was in a trance and I felt like I couldn't get out.

All fucking night I thought about her, I thought about the way she let me touch her in such a way and love her so roughly. I feel fucking stupid, I feel lost and guilty for hurting her.
Hurting her so bad that she had to leave.

I pull over and stop the car to take some fresh air before I fucking crash, I am not alright and I feel the need to shout out loud, call out for help and call out her name too.

Little pink.

Little-fucking-pink!

That girl is something, I haven't seen her for only some days now but I feel like I haven't seen her in so long, I need to see her and feel her and...kiss her, I want to fuck her again and again, I want to make her obsessed with me and never want anyone else.

"God-fucking-damnit!" I shout and pull my hair so hard until the pain numbs and I can't feel anything other than my heart breaking for the way I treated that girl.

I feel like I committed the worst crime to ever exist by hurting her the way I did that night.

I'm so heartless.

I marked her body, I touched her, I kissed her and I thought all that was okay because she was nothing to me. I need fucking help.

...

I went back to her house to find it all empty, not even a trace of them ever being there.

I called to find the guy that she was with that day and he told me he knew nothing and he wasn't talking to her anymore which is good.

I can't see her with him any longer, she looks better with me.
She looks way better with me, on me, everywhere around me.

Her smell when she's around, her eyes looking at me with that little glint, she's a shy one but she has that hidden hint of want when she's around me... am I going to see that again? Am I going to feel her again, am I going to touch and kiss her the way I did before?

"Hey Lake, where have you been all day?" Lucy stands up from her seat and follows me up to the room I've been spending the past two or three weeks in, I really don't know for sure.
My mind has been too preoccupied that I've forgotten other things in my life.

"I was just-" Then I remember, my sister has her number, maybe she didn't block her.
"Can I have your phone for just a second?" I stretch my hand out to her, expecting her to hand me her phone.

"Why, did you break yours again?" She asks pointing at my chest.

"No, I just need it for one second Lucy hand me your phone."

"Okay okay, here," she pulls it out of the pocket of her jeans and hands it to me, I take it and make my way upstairs while ignoring her screams of her asking me what I need the phone for but I'm not telling her, she doesn't need to know my goddamn business and just mind her own while I try to get this shot fixed.

I need to make things right with her, I need to apologize, I need to see her again.

...

Bro, I swear this chapter annoyed me that's why it took me so long to write it so I'm sorry for taking so long but ur gonna get disappointed because so bad I hate it.
🙄