At first glance

23/We could have been one

❀ Montana Lowren ❀

"Montana, your phone is ringing." My mom calls me, I sigh and wash my hands to get off the juice of the watermelon I was cutting into cubes for me and my mom because today is particularly hot so we need something to stay refreshed and hydrated at all times.

"Coming!" I shout as I walk back out of the kitchen of our new one-bedroom apartment we got just temporarily while we figure out what we're going to do.
I'm planning on doing online school from now on because I don't want to encounter new people at the moment, the past interactions I've had with them haven't been the best and they've just led me to get hurt but maybe I'll think about it later on.

I will try to go out and forget about what happened between me and Landon, I will try to forget about how much I like him and how I would give him a chance to better himself and come back to me because I can't forget him and the way he made me feel.

I don't know if I'm ever going to find another guy that's exactly the way he was...or the way he was when he was starting to heal.
He hurt me a lot but I still forgave him because he still needs to work on his mental health to get himself better.

I'm giving him space to get himself together for however many days or months or years it takes, I just want him to get better and stop hurting himself and the people around him.
He's way too young to be losing himself in anger and hatred, he has a lot to learn and teach and I believe he can do it, he can become a better person and when he does I'll go back myself, and talk to him about us.

I like him more than myself, and I never will lose the feelings I have towards him but I may try to move on for a while just so I myself can heal at least a little bit. But I won't be trying to get with the first guy I see on the streets like immediately, I am going to take my time to settle in this new place we're in and maybe slowly meet a few friends, and then I'll think about moving on.

I know just the word makes you want to yell at me because why would I admit to wanting to move on just like that so soon, and the truth is I don't want to admit it either because I feel like I will never be able to like another guy the way I do him but I will try just see if I'll heal and if I become happier if I get better myself.

"Honey?" Mom's voice brings me out of my thoughts and look down at my phone, Lucy's name popping up.
I know it's probably Landon calling though because I have a strong feeling that it's him.

I was going to change my number completely but I wasn't ready for the setting up and stuff so I just blocked his number, knowing he will sooner or later text or call me to ask where I'm at.
We moved quite a distance from where we were before and we moved so quickly, I and mom got straight to packing all our belongings the second we got back home and paid for a moving van, and a week later we were out of the house and on the road to start everything over again.

My mom needed a change too, I needed her to forget about the memories she had while in that house so I was glad to move and start fresh again.
She is so so much better now, she's working harder than ever, she is happy from what I can see and she spends a lot of time with me which I love the most.
I feel like moving away made us bond more too so that's also a bonus.

My mom sighs and pats my knee.
I go to the contact of Landon's sister and block her number as well, I am not going to deal with any of them right now, they both need to give me space as well to think and decide what I'm going to do while I'm here with no friends and literally no one, it's going to be hard for me.

But I will try.
I will try for my mom, for me, and my mental health.

We needed this, I needed this.

...

"You wanna go out for lunch, I found this park nearby and it's so nice and comfortable looking." My mom says through the phone speaker and I nod before answering her and trying to put some folded-up clothes in the closet that we share.

"Okay sure, send me the location then."

"Okay, hold on a second." I hum in response while I keep folding clothes, picking up a white t-shirt I look at it and realize it's not mine...it's his.
The shirt I wore to sleep every night when I stayed at his place, it used to give me a lot of comfort while I had to spend so much time there all by myself and only with the smell of his lingering around the house to keep me company.

I was down and I was hopeful but all that trying when downhill in one night.
We could have been together now, we could have been so happy with each other.

We could have been one.

"Montana, are you listening?" I blink my eyes fast three times and pick up the phone, putting the shirt down.

"Yes, sorry Mom, I am on my way right now I will see you in a little bit," I tell her before opening the messages and analyzing the location she sent me to be at in twenty minutes.

I put my shoes on and head out the door, taking a deep breath and focusing on my surroundings.

...

Again boring as they have to spend time apart and shat like that but help me literally I am desperate for help to make Landon grovel, I'm bad at this I need help, pls dm me on insta and give me ideas or som.