"You won't choke me when you come out, right?" She smiles, what a tease.
"Stop it," I warn her. "That's a bad habit I can't seem to get rid of, and your neck looks pretty with my hand around it anyways," I smirk and she rolls her eyes.
"It's okay, I...
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⋆Landon Kate ⋆
"Why can't I forget her? Why can't I move on already?" I ask my therapist of 10 months now, I have been taking therapy like crazy every week since the day my sister told me to get back into it because she told me I really need this so I listened to her. It did help so I thanked her plenty because I needed help after all.
The only thing therapy didn't help me with was to forget about her, her name, her face, her body, her scent, I couldn't forget her no matter what I did and that didn't let me move on, that didn't let me heal.
I felt the need to find her and give her a piece of my mind, tell her to stop putting these spells on me so I can finally see light. I'm blind, I need to see her.
"Maybe you love her too much that your heart doesn't let you forget about her as much as your brain wants to." He responds to my question, the sentence slowly making its way inside my brain, and trying to figure out if it's true or he's just lying to me.
Or maybe I'm lying to myself?
Maybe I do love her so much that I can't figure that out on my own because I'm so frustrated still about the fact that she left just like that without even saying goodbye. Or leave a note or a text.
She left nothing. Nothing but heartbreak.
Nothing but need hand hatred mixed up together.
Maybe if she'd said goodbye and that she never wants to see me again for what I did to her, maybe just then I'd admit defeat and give up, but she said nothing and that gives me hope. That makes me feel like this isn't over and we're going to be together again at some point and I'll have a chance to apologize and tell her how much I love her...love her.
I do love her, I fucking love her.
I can feel my heart beating miles per hour and my breaths get heavier, my eyes close tight and I think. So far I've been able to remember how she put me in jail for hurting her mother, and then I remembered how she came to tutor me even when I was locked up for however long, in those days I started feeling more and more about her and it was crazy but hatred and jealousy lost against the love I had for her, I just didn't realize that at the time.
And when I lost my memory I lost everything altogether.
I hate myself for losing myself in that dumb fight that night, I was completely out of my head and just acted out of anger. I lost memory of her and everything we did before, I hurt her badly and I deserve what I go after that.
She got tired of me, she got hurt, upset. I would be too if I were her.
"I love her," I whisper to myself but the guy sitting across from me didn't seem to have missed it either. "I really do love that girl, because why else wouldn't I be able to get her out of my head." I look up at him, a small smile planted on his face like he was happy I finally figured myself out. He was probably happy to finally get me out of there because he's had enough of me for so long. "I got a girlfriend thinking it would help me forget about her easily but no, it wasn't that, my heart just didn't want to forget about her and the way she made me feel." I continue and he listens, noting things in his notebook that lay on his lap.
