Malec - One Shots.

Perhaps.

It wasn’t your fault, any of it. Perhaps that you let yourself fall in love is, but that isn’t really something you can decide on. I was the one with secrets, the one who lacked faith in myself. I never, never expected you to show up like that. Even then I didn’t expect it would come to this, which was denial at its best.

You see, we always belonged.

Not to a place or anything as normal as a house is, no. Nothing irremovable, nothing we couldn’t take with us. We always belonged to each other. I lost everything when I was a baby, you know that: a mother, a childhood, waking early to breakfast before school and the smell of freshly cut grass on the weekend. All of it went away in just a couple of minutes as if it never existed (and for me it didn’t), as if no one cared enough about it to stop it.

I lost it. Dad lost it. Then I found you. Can you fault me for finding a sanctuary within you, can I fault you for finding this anchor in me? I won’t lie to you now, time for keeping things from you (when I believed I’d never see you again) has passed. For that though, I do blame myself.

Perhaps in some other life.

I did love you, what love I had left from it all. Probably that doesn’t mean a thing now, but I dreamed about us. Ring on your finger, children, watching clocks together, all of that. I almost made myself forget that he and I are the hands on that clock, sometimes seemingly running away, but always going towards each other. Always within reach.

I’m sorry.

The tears were flowing over Alec' cheeks like a dribble of treacle, slow and sticky. With cheeks flushed red and the blue of his eyes holding back the waves of emotions from surging storm to come.

“How how-” the words were a small almost inaudible mumble in fear and sadness, but there was no one around to hear his pleas. Magnus, his warlock, had gone. And all he had left was the rectangular piece of card in his hands. It smelt of him, of Magnus.

With the river flowing through his cracked face he reread the last words ‘I’m sorry.’ again and again but it didn't make him feel any better. With a sharp breath his lungs began to burn and he let the card slide from his fingertips to the cold hard floor.

Never again.

Alec loved him, and would love him until his heart cease to beat but right now – in this exact moment – he hated his guts. I hate you so much warlock, so much.

So perhaps in another life, things would be different and we would be that of fairy tales but we do not always get dreams. More often than not it's the nightmares which come true.

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thank ya for reading! 
please don't be a silent reader, thank you!

-ilyall♥

robs
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