Black Sheep

A broken, fiery Blaze, that boy.

My gaze lingers on the white fluffs painting the sky as I peer out the window. My legs are pulled into my chest with a book resting in my hand as I sit perched on the window seat. The hours slowly turned into weeks and before I knew it, I'd avoided both Austin and Xavier for a good two weeks before my brain finally caved in to my innermost desires. Since karma is a bitch, what goes around comes around. The cat and mouse game ensued for another week where I'd be the one chasing both of them like a desperate hoe and they'd be running away from me like I was infected with a lethal STD. 

I shift into a more comfortable position and spy on Stella sitting two feet away from me engrossed in her homework. We'd found an abandoned classroom turned library at the far end of the dorm building. After an intense clean-up session and successful ownership claim over the room, we'd decided to turn it into our hideout. 

Stella slams the thick hardcover textbook close, with a loud bang. She blows away a stray strand of her hair from her face and turns around to face me, "Me is done!" She stretches her arms and sighs in contentment. She watches me for a good 2 minutes like a creepo right before he's about to rape you before her lips contort into a sly girl that has me wondering if she escaped from a mental institute. "You know", she whispers, her gaze lingering on me, "I feel like you have feelings for Austin." 

Words have never had much of an impact on me, actions did. Yet those eight words had the power to make me reconsider and doubt every feeling in my heart. Those eight words, hit where it hurt the most and those eight words have the power to shake me to my very core leaving nothing but rubble in its wake as I try to fully comprehend the truth from a lie. 

"Why?" 

She shrugs, basking in the sunlight and her eyes flutter shut. Long lashes resting against her pink cheeks. "In a way y'all fit and in a way y'all don't."

Her words grab my complete attention, I close my book and turn to face her. "How so?" I won't deny that having a future with Austin has crossed my mind numerous times but he's a friend and even if the divorce rates are low when you marry your best mate, Austin acts like too much of a papa-bear-turned-best-friend-brother. He's complicated and hell-bent on protecting me. I doubt his feelings extend more than those of platonic concern. 

"Bitch!" Standing up and huffing in irritation. "please tell me, this world has more romantically-aware humans. I've seen the way he looks at you."

I arch a brow, "like how a dad would look at his daughter? Because, yes I have noticed him throwing daggers at any male in a 3-mile radius."

Stella facepalms, "he looks at you like you're his entire world, and you're so oblivious to it all. Like really?!"

I shrug, Austin is just my best mate, a brother, a dad. He'd never be the guy I'd fall in love with because getting my heart broken by someone who'd always been there for me is worse than getting my heart broken by Xavier aka when I delude myself into believing his feelings mirror mine and become the laughing stock of the school. Sounds all too amazing. 

I might be walking down the second path but since no one knows about my obscure feelings, I'm pretty sure I'm going to be okay. 

Yeah? No, not really. 

"Forget it", she huffs when she takes in my nonchalant expression. "Aren't you supposed to care? Feel something?" 

I give her a deadpan look before re-opening my book and getting back to my reading. "I like someone else," I whisper a ghost of a smile on my face. 

Her jaw drops, "Wha-since when bitch!" She exclaims, snatching the book out of my hand and chucking it so hard against the wall that I'm pretty sure the hardcover cracked. Talk about anger issues. "I'm your best friend. I'm supposed to know. It's part of my job!"