Shy

Clara

College goes by slowly and I find myself looking forward to orchestra, just so that I can talk to someone who gets me. I suppose I have a little group of friends at school, but I wouldn't call them friends. Not really. They're just like-minded people who are in the same classes as me, they don't know me and we don't have interesting conversations.

I'm not from a really wealthy family, so I'm sort of shunned here. My family isn't poor, but we're not rich either. I'm just average and so the other girls don't really interact with me.

I don't really want to be their friends anyway, I wouldn't know what to say and I don't think I'd be myself either. So all the other girls like me sort of cluster together. Lucky enough to go to this school, not lucky enough to fit in.

I walk towards the drab looking building with a pep in my step, excited to play some music with people who appreciate it. The people here are nice and I even have a few friends in the strings section as well as a very nice flautist friend.

I nudge my way through the door, balancing my school bag, my art book and my violin. I wander through and dump my bags in the corner, not bothering to look around as I'm quite late.

I take my place in the strings section and crack open my case, smiling at the sight of my little violin. I wipe down the strings, applying resin to my bow absently as everyone settles.

A friend of mine, Phoebe, sits down next to me and smiles, making light conversation with me. She asks how I've been and points out several new musicians that have joined our orchestra.

Brian skips into the room looking more delighted than usual and clears his throat, gaining our attention.

"Hello my flats and sharps! We have a few new members to welcome to our little orchestra today, and you'll be pleased to hear that we've found a very talented pianist to replace yours truly." Brian says, extending his hand towards the piano.

I glance over my shoulder and do a double take as I recognise Kit sat at the piano. He looks sharp and handsome as ever, as well as very unhappy to be made the centre of attention.

Phoebe exhales next to me, her cheeks ruby red as she looks at Kit.

"I didn't know he played, he goes to my college you know, but he's in the year above me. Isn't he gorgeous? Maybe this will give me a reason to talk to him at college." She whispers, giggling excitedly and I force a smile, pushing away the jealousy that her comment has sparked.

My own heart is fluttering in my chest and I don't seem to be able to sit still knowing that he's behind me which is utterly ridiculous. I don't even know the boy.

Brian hands round some sheet music that we've previously been practicing and I stand, stretching my fingers and reading through the music quickly. 

Brian brings us together and the music slowly but surely comes together around me. When it's time for the piano to join the melody I smile, my eyes closing momentarily to enjoy how beautifully he plays.

My body sways with the music, my fingers flying across the fingerboard as I play my part in the beautiful whole. The sound of the violin is sharp and coarse, the centre of attention in this piece but my ears follow the slow, steady rhythm of the piano, guiding us all and keeping us on track.

My part comes to an end and slowly but surely, everyone else's does too until it's just the piano, just Kit bringing the music to a close. I turn, unable to stop myself from watching him.

Seeing him playing the piano is so pure and intimate that I almost want to look away, but I don't. I can't. He finishes the piece delicately with a sigh of what looks like relief. He looks up and I turn away, not wanting to be caught staring.

The rest of the evening follows the same pattern. We play, I'm entirely captivated by Kit's playing, I stare at him whenever possible and repeat. It's embarrassing and pathetic.

At the end of our session I pack my violin away carefully, scolding myself whenever I'm tempted to look over. I gather my things together and make my way to the door, dropping my bags when my phone rings.

I wiggle it out my pocket and smile when I see Kia's name.

"Hiya!" I answer.

"Hey Clara, are you still at Orchestra?" She asks and I hum in confirmation, glancing over at Kit who's gathering his sheet music and talking to Ollie who's on drums.

"Is my brother there?" She asks and I hum again.

"I didn't think that he'd actually join our orchestra. He's so talented." I murmur.

"I'm surprised he actually showed up, he was super nervous and he's not picking up his phone." She says. This surprises me as outwardly Kit doesn't look nervous at all. Perhaps slightly uncomfortable, but not nervous. He's such a cool character, I can't imagine him ever being nervous.

"Did you want to speak to him?" I offer but Saskia quickly rejects the offer.

"No, no, I'll see him when he gets home. Thanks a lot, Clara, I'll see you tomorrow at dance!" She chirps before ringing off.

I leave the building and make my way home slowly, my mind going over and over the sight of Kit playing and I idly wonder why I am so enchanted by the boy.