Shy

Clara

Dinner with Saskia is really nice. She's very chatty and so friendly that dinner with my parents is actually really enjoyable. I enjoy spending time with my parents, but they're usually so wrapped up in each other and their own lives.

Kia offers for me to sleepover before tomorrows big rehearsal, as she lives closer to the studio than I do and my parents agree immediately.

I pack my dance things and a pair of pyjamas and my toothbrush and we set off for Kia's house. I silently wonder if the boys are still slow dancing in the living room. I giggle to myself at the memory.

Kia opens the front door and I'm slightly disappointed not to hear the music playing. We put our coats away and throw down our bags haphazardly.

"We're home! Come on in, Clara." Kia says loudly and I raise an eyebrow, wondering if she's gone deaf in the last 30 seconds.

"Hey, Michael and I are going to be upstairs!" I hear back, his voice just as lovely as before. His words are preceded by thumps bounding up the stairs and I sigh heavily, looking around me.

I note that there aren't many family photos lying around, but the only one that is is a sweet picture of Kia and Kit as children. They look almost identical, flashing huge cheesy grins at the camera.

I smile at the photograph, reaching for it before thinking better of it.

"Do you want anything? A drink or something?" Kia asks, getting a glass for herself. I shake my head.

"I'm good thanks." I admit, watching at how unbothered Kia is by Michael's presence. I suppose the two have known each other for years, it's normal for him to be here. Even though Kia and I have been friends for a long time, it took us years before we actually did things like go to each other's houses.

I'm just about to ask her about it when my train of thought is interrupted.

"SASKIA! GET UP HERE NOW!" An unfamiliar voice yells and Kia freezes. She looks towards me apologetically and I signal for her to go ahead.

As soon as I do she races up the stairs, and I watch after her, never having seen her move so fast. She's gone for a long time and I watch the minutes tick by, my eyebrows drawing together in concern.

I get up slowly, tentatively making my way round the counter and pad up the stairs. I walk forwards and hear both Kia and Michael talking.

"I've never seen him like that before." Michael says, his voice laced with concern.

"It was a panic attack. It doesn't happen often, it hasn't happened for years actually, but that's the worst he's had by far." Saskia admits softly.

I'm just about to walk in when they exit, both of them startled to see me.

They exit the room and tactfully close the door behind them.

"What's going on?" I ask quietly, my eyes flicking to the closed door behind them.

Kia glances at Michael quickly and he shrugs. He pats Kia on the shoulder and murmurs for her to text him with an update. She nods quickly, watching him leave down the stairs.

She looks back to me and grimaces, leading me towards her bedroom.

"My brother just needed some...help with something." She says quietly and I fidget for a moment, pondering my response.

"A cousin of mine has panic attacks, they can be really scary." I say slowly, hoping I'm not over-stepping.

Kia's quiet for a moment.

"Kit's the strongest person I know. This isn't something for me to tell you about. It should come from him." She says slowly but firmly and I understand that she isn't willing to tell me anything further. I nod tentatively, elated at the idea of conversing with him at some point.

"Is he okay?" I ask and she nods.

"Pretty exhausted, but he'll be fine. I'll check on him later." She says with a frown.

She looks worried, naturally, but she also looks somewhat guilty and I can't tell why.

"None of this is your fault." I remind gently and she laughs, somewhat humourlessly.

"I know."