Shy

Kit

Entering the orchestra building is the most anxiety inducing thing I've done, maybe in my whole life. My palms are so sweaty that I'm at risk of becoming seriously dehydrated.

I navigate my way through the room, making a beeline straight to the piano, glad that I was here just yesterday as the room is fresh in my memory. I leave my bags next to the piano and sit down awkwardly, watching everyone else gather around me.

My eyes rake through the room, subconsciously looking for the angelic golden hair of my soulmate. I find myself a little disappointed when I realise that she's not here. My disappointment is short-lived however, when the guy next to me strikes up conversation; providing me with a whole new set of anxieties.

"Hey mate, I'm Ollie. I'm on drums." He says, lifting his drum sticks slightly as he leans against the back of the piano.

"Kit." I mumble.

"You play well?" He asks, eyeing me up and I shrug, not knowing what he describes as 'well'. He nods slowly, appraising me carefully before cracking a cheeky smile.

"Brian'll be glad to have someone decent on piano." He murmurs, absently drumming on the piano. I half-smile, glad that I seem to have his approval.

Before he can make any more conversation, Brian draws our attention to the front and Ollie drifts back to his drum set, wishing me luck as he goes.

Brian gestures to me as he welcomes the new members of the orchestra and I resist the urge to shrink into my chair. I look down, not able to bear the stares of everyone. I take a deep breath, waiting a good 4 minutes before risking looking up again, and as I do, my eyes automatically look towards the violins. My eyes spot an angelic head of golden hair and I can't control the smile that overtakes my face. It's the most beautiful back of a head I have ever seen.

I'm snapped out of my reverie by Ollie chucking a drumstick at me. He laughs, grabbing another stick from his back pocket and resumes what he was doing as I realise that I'm actually supposed to be doing something.

I flick through the sheet music that's been passed round and get ready, watching the room come together slowly through music.

I do my part, coming in gently as I build some confidence, closing my eyes and feeling my way through the rhythm. I provide the steady, beating rhythm with Ollie, perfectly content for the strings to take the spotlight.

I glance over, watching Clara move and am completely captivated all over again. Watching her play music is so different to watching her dance and I am awestruck. Here she moves boldly, the music dictating her movement as she soars high and beyond our steady little beat. She never strays too far, but knows exactly how to lead the piece and she does, ever so elegantly. The music she plays is amazing and before I know it, the evening has come to an end.

I sit at the piano, staring at the keys as I attempt to contemplate all the emotions wildly bouncing around inside me.

"So, the blondie that plays the violin, huh?" Ollie says, smirking at me from his position leant against the piano. I snap my head up, my eyes flicking to Clara who seems to be on the phone.

I clear my throat, collecting my sheet music and getting up awkwardly, avoiding Oliver's stare at all costs.

"I don't know what..."

Ollie laughs, pushing my shoulder lightly.

"I don't blame you, she's fit dude. Personally, I'm into her cute dancer friend that meets her sometimes." He says, eyeing me up a bit more carefully now as I tower over him.

I grimace, hoping that he's not talking about my sister.

"She..um.." I start, rubbing the back of my neck as I try and think of something to say to explain my fanatical staring.

"Don't worry man, she was staring at you too." He says winking at me and tapping his nose, silently promising to keep my secret.

I nod, stunned as I wonder if Ollie was telling the truth. Had she been looking at me? Had she been just as captivated as I had been with her? My mind is buzzing and I exhale shakily, having had enough stress for one day.

I grab my bag and head out of the building as quickly as possible.

As I leave the orchestra building I zoom round to the back where I locked my bike, slamming my back against the wall of the bike rack. I slip down to the floor, my shoulders crumpling as I choke on a sob.

That hour, being in the same room from my soulmate who was only yards away from me was the most anxiety-inducing experience of my life. I frown, my fingers interlocking as I take a shaky breath to calm my nerves.

I close my eyes, remembering just how perfectly she played. She's one of the lead violinists and I can understand why, she understands the music just as I do and it was beautiful to watch.

I could hardly take my eyes off her and I feel blessed that the piano is placed at the back, giving me the perfect vantage point to watch her play. It also eased my soul to be at the back, allowed to play without anyone looking at me. I don't think I would have been able to do it otherwise.

I take another deep breath, genuinely proud of the fact that I had survived a new experience, surrounded by total strangers and the love of my life. Right now, I'm content to be part of her surroundings.

I get up, brushing myself off and slowly unlock my bike.

I hop on and speed home, glad that I don't have to lug around a piano in order to play in an orchestra. I get home in record time and find Saskia waiting for me with a Cheshire Cat grin. I roll my eyes at her and carefully navigate my way upstairs before she pounces on me with her incessant questions.

"So, how did it go?" Kia asks, closing my door firmly behind her as she perches on my bed.

"It was fine." I say with a shrug.

She gives me a look, a very plain look of disapproval and I sigh.

"It was great, I got to play with other people who love music, the guy on drums next to me is a nice lad and Clara plays beautifully." I add plainly, watching Kia's smile widen.

"You watched her play?" She asks.

"The piano is directly behind the violins." I mumble, shrugging my shoulders.

"She said you played really well." Kia states and I raise an eyebrow.

"I called her to make sure you hadn't died from stress. You weren't picking up your phone." Kia says and I swallow harshly.

"So, she knows who I am?" I ask anxiously.

"Yes, Kit, she knows who you are. Everyone knows who you are." She scoffs, pacing back to her room whilst I ponder her words.

I make a point to try and blend into the background, I don't do well with people. So I don't really know what my sister means.