Shy

Kit

I try not to dwell on the fact that my soulmate is leaving me tomorrow. The night that she found out, I felt her pain. The fracture the decision was causing to her soul. On the one hand, the chance to pursue her dreams, on the other, the man she was destined to be with. A cruel trick of fate if ever I saw one.

But as soon as I felt the pain, it dissolved again.

It's always been this way. Clara has never been mine to own, never will she be. She is her own person, a beautiful, talented soul and ever since the first moment I met her, I knew I would be sharing her attention. The stage is where she's meant to be. Being anywhere else would be like taking a rare bird out of the jungle and putting it in a cage.

Just as I knew then, I know it now. I'm not losing her, I'm nurturing her, sharing her, cheering for her. I'm there for her. It hurt my heart to know that she was afraid of my reaction to such an amazing opportunity.

Of course, I'll miss her. Of course I will, but I'm always with her. I'm with her in everything that she does and everywhere she goes because I love her, and she loves me.

She glances at me forlornly and I smile. All evening she's been this way, moping and wiping the occasional tear. She's here for a final sleepover with Kia before she leaves tomorrow and I know that, despite Kia being happy for her, she's missing her friend already.

The girls natter in Kia's room and I wait patiently, my fingers wondering on the piano as I pass the time. I play Clara's lullaby instinctively and after a few moments, I hear footsteps approaching my door.

The door opens and shuts quietly, her feet padding towards me as she sits beside me on the piano.

I smoothly transition into the opening of our song. The song where we finally found each other. She smiles, her hand coming up to rest on mine. I stop playing, looking over to find Clara's eyes glassy and sad.

I sigh, closing the piano lid gently before standing up. I offer her my hand and she takes it.

I pull back the covers of my bed and pull her in with me, tucking her into my chest as I hold her. We lay there together for an infinitely long time, not needing to say anything. After a while, her breaths even out and I tentatively wonder if she's fallen asleep.

"Kit?" She says quietly, her voice startling me.

I hum, waiting for her to speak again. She turns around in my arms, her face now millimetres from mine and I inhale shakily.

"Promise me things won't change." She murmurs, her eyes imploring.

I sigh, my fingers brushing through her hair and down her shoulders.

"I can't promise that." I say quietly, her eyebrows knitting together.

"I promise that I'll always be here for you. I promise that I'll write at least once a week. I promise that I'll come and visit every chance I get. I promise that this will be the scariest, hardest, most amazing opportunity of your life." I list, her eyes finding mine again as she smiles.

"I love you." I murmur, the words so soft that they're barely audible.

A small tear trickles down Clara's cheeks, but she's smiling. She's smiling so beautifully I forget how to breath for a moment.

"I love you." She says, her lips soon finding mine.

The entire night we spend together. We kiss and our limbs intertwine as we move together and as the sun rises, we hold each other. Clara's eyelashes kiss her cheeks, her face soft and relaxed in sleep as I brush my fingers through her golden hair.

I kiss her forehead, her cheeks, everywhere that I can reach. I know that in a few minutes, she'll be leaving me but it won't be forever. We'll be together again because it's how we're supposed to be. Together. Every moment that we're apart will be hard, the only thing that makes it easier is the promise of seeing her again.

I gently wake her, her eyes fluttering open as her reality dawns upon her. She blushes, watching me adoringly and I smile, kissing her leisurely.

I help her dress, pack the last of her things and before I know it, she's gone.

I smile, even though it feels like my heart is breaking. She's gone.

But not for long.