Shy

Clara

I sweep through the front door, my mind still littered with memories of this evening and my eyes no doubt glittering from the glory of young love. If I weren't so happy, I'm sure I'd feel quite ill at how annoyingly in love I am.

I've met my soulmate, we have the rest of our lives together and nothing in our...

I stop, my eyes now trained on a letter that lays beneath my feet.

It's nothing special at first glance, but my attention is drawn to the little stamp in the top left hand corner. The return address.

I dive to the floor, my hand scooping the letter up and shoving it in my pocket before I can look at it anymore. I drop my bag and tear up the stairs, thankful that my parents aren't home.

I close the door behind me, my chest heaving as I sink to the floor.

I pull the letter from my pocket and stare at it. I turn it over in my hands, my head hurting with the possibilities, cursing itself for forgetting something like this.

It was months ago, a silly whim. An application to a dance school miles away, a school that I had absolutely no hope of getting into. All that was required was an essay and a video of you dancing. It was a silly dream, nothing more.

I'd sent in my application and very quickly forgotten about it. Until now.

I quietly watch the letter, turning over and over in my long, thin fingers. What does it say? More importantly, what do I want it to say?

My future is already mapped out for me, my life with Kit, my soulmate. I want it to be an apologetic letter, a declination of my application. I nod to myself, a frown etching it's way onto my face.

But that's not what I want at all. It's just a soft whisper but it's there. I want it to say congratulations, I want excitement and endless opportunity and a future so challenging and so uncertain that...

I stop turning the letter.

I couldn't do that. Not to him. How could I ever be without him? It should be illegal to grow so firmly attached to someone so fast.

I put the letter down and frown at it. Baby steps, Clara. Just open it, see what it says, and go from there. No point worrying about leaving your life behind if there's no reason to.

I take a deep breath and open the letter.

I don't exhale, my breath trapped inside my chest as I read the first sentence.

Congratulations. Pleased to tell you. Accepted. Full scholarship.

I drop the letter, my fingers shaking as I shake my head.

"No...no, no, no." I mumble, my fingers reaching out again to read and re-read the letter.

I drop it again, pushing it away from me as I stumble to my feet. My fingers drag through my hair as I pace back and forth.

I force myself to take a deep breath, my hands swinging to and fro as I try and think. My hands come together, my fingers interlacing as I pace.

On the one hand, this is the biggest, most exciting opportunity of my life. I would be crazy not to accept it, right?

Could I do it, though? To leave my heart behind to follow an ambition. Could I do it to Kit? How would he react? Would he be happy for me? Would he hate me?

I whimper quietly to myself at the mere thought of him resenting me. God knows how long he's waited for this, to be with me. How heartless would I have to be to take that away from him now? To take away the precious time we have together.