Afraid of Falling in Love

Chapter 1

Savannah Eunice Sandoval

As everyone started to fade away, I just stood there staring at the stage. The awarding ceremony was already done, and we were instructed to return to our respective classes. My mind went blank as my eyes followed the parents and their child in the direction they were headed. I almost scoffed in disbelief.

Binasa ko ang labi ko at naupo ulit. Nakakasama ng loob. Hindi na rin sana ako nag-expect dahil alam ko namang never sila mag kakaroon ng oras para sa akin.

I received a call from a few acquaintances. Hindi ko sila pinansin . Hindi na nila ako tinawag muli at hinayaan nalang mag-stay dito sa gym . Then again, I chose to spend some time alone again. Everyone is aware of this because being a well-known family member means that you're constrained to encounter conflicts between the family.

Kinuha ko ang phone ko and to see that there were no any text from my parents. This isn't the first time it happened. It always been like this.

And why am I upset again? Ilang recognition na ba ang hindi nila napuntahan? Ilang recognition na ba ang hindi ko sinabi sa kanila? Sinadya ko naman na hindi magsabi pero umaasa parin ako na pupunta sila.

I always study hard to be on top. I am even the smartest among my batch but I couldn't make my parents proud of it. It was just recently that I didn't tell my parents about it. Dahil habang tumatagal, nawawalan na rin ako ng pake.

Lagi nalang walang oras sila Mommy at Daddy sa akin. They are always not at home. Instead of giving time for me, just for a bit, hindi nila magawa. They are dedicated on their work to help other people but how about their child?

Kaya habang lumalaki ako... Nasanay nalang ako at tila wala nalang sa akin.

I was, regrettably, fully informed as to why they were like that... The whole family knows about it. I was conceived when my parents were in the process of divorcing then I was born into that condition. I was accidentally created or as some people say na walang alam, I was a child of an adulterous relationship.

I'd always envy Kuya Eric and Ate Elisse. They are almost 20 years ahead of me so they felt how our parent take care of them pero hindi rin naman nila gusto na magkahiwalay ang parents namin.

While me, I never did. Oo nga't pinakain at binihisan ako, totoong magulang ko sila at hindi kung sino. As a child, I was often confused at naiingit sa mga batang mahal na mahal ng kanilang magulang. Ako, kapatid ko lang ata ang nagmamahal sa akin. My parents? They do care. Kahit papaano dahil may responsibilidad sila sa akin. In the end, hindi ko rin naman kasalanan. Pero tinatanong ko kung bakit...

Noon, I was protected by my siblings but now that they have their on family, wala na 'yon. I understand it. Kahit naman na hindi na kami nakatira sa iisang bahay at least they always check up on me.

I never questioned them. I got independent that's why I don't rely to them anymore. I don't get excited to see them like it used to be. Nasanay na akong ganito lagi.

I reached the picture frame of our family, which was on display in our living room. People are envious of us because of the family status we have. My parents both worked in medicine and were well-known for it. Enrico Richard used to be a renowned bachelor, but now, he owns a pharmaceutical company and a husband who puts his family first. Belinda Elisse is also a doctor, but she took a leave from her job after having a child.

Even my relatives expect me to follow their steps, well in fact... I don't know my purpose living. May plano ba ako sa buhay? Iyon din ang hindi ko alam. Ang gusto ko lang ang makalayo rito.

Binaba ko ang picture frame nang may narinig akong papalapit sa akin. I saw my brother approaching me. Aattend kami ng annual celebration ng company niya. Kompleto kami sa araw na ito. His son, my nephew, Caiden, just got back home from Canada at balak mag senior high dito sa Pilipinas.