Afraid of Falling in Love

Chapter 2

"You're not going to ask what happened?" I asked. Nakaupo kami ngayon sa labas ng convenience store malapit sa university.

Damian offered for a ride to go back home. Hindi pumayag dahil may mga driver naman na pwedeng mag-uwi sa akin but I didn't also want to go back and ask permission to go home. I just wanted to go out of here.

It felt suffocating. Hindi lang kahihiyan ang naramdaman ko pati ay galit. This wasn't the first time and it actually often happen. Kahit anong irason ko na hindi ako pupunta, they will find a way to be there with them as a family.

"Am I suppose to ask?" Ani habang inoopen ang root beer na binili niya. "Curious ako pero wala naman ako sa lugar." Nilingon niya ako at bahagyang tumawa.

"Should I thank you?" I asked, observing his actions. Umiling siya.

He took a sip on his root beer and I did too in my slurpee. Ilang segundo akong napatitig sa slurpee na hawak ko. We happened to cross paths under an unfortunate set of circumstances. Hindi ko naman din inaasahan na nandoon siya sa event ni Kuya. What's worst is apo siya ng matandang Villarucel.

"Alam ko naman ang nangyari pero hindi ko na tinanong kasi ganyan ang itsura mo..." he glanced at me, "I was there. I saw it" his voice softened

I pursed my lips, still not looking at him, "You were?"

I was embarrassed just thinking about it. Wala lang naman sa akin kung pinag-uusapan o nakikita sa amin. I shouldn't be ashamed kasi mouths do always talk at saan-saan pa ito napupunta. There are also circumstances that talking about it is like a sin, in school, hindi ko alam sa iba. At least I'm known for something other than just being a Sandoval.

He nodded, "It's not my intention to hear your conversation with your Dad. I know you don't go well... I heard it from our classmates when I asked why are your parents don't even go kahit pag awarding,"

Despite the fact that he is a new student at our school, he already knows what I've been going through in my personal life. Walang halong biro. Lahat naman ng naririnig ko ay walang pawang kasinungalingan. I didn't want to involve in that kaya mas gusto ko nalang hindi pansinin ang mga 'yun. Kahit sanay na ako, hindi mawari sa isip ko na alam na ni Damian ito. It was really unexpected that he opened this up which I don't really want to hear a single thing about my family. 

Noon, I wanted to impress my Dad sa school kaya sa lahat kailangan ko mag-excel. But growing up, hindi na pala siya worth it and the accomplishment I've done is I made that alone for myself. Kasi bakit ko naman kailangan i-prove ang sarili ko sa taong wala namang pake sa akin? 

Napapikit na lamang ako at dinamdam ang mga haplos ng malamig na hangin na yumayakap sa ang aking katawan. This was really unexpected. Thinking about this again and being with Damian who I loathe a lot.

"I'm considerate of your feelings. If you want to talk about it, I'm going to listen..."

I didn't say a word. I just look at Damian, and he seems sincere with his words. I couldn't even smile or thank him for the comfort, but I think I don't need it. I don't like amenities. I continued to ignore him the following day as well.

Since he transferred, we've seen each other more frequently at school but seldom interact. In fact, that was the first time we had ever spoken. Alam din naman sa buong strand namin na may cold war kami. Hula-hula lang dahil hindi ako ang naging top 1 sa buong strand namin at alam nilang masama ang loob ko about it.

I got bitter of course. Hanggang ngayon. Natural lang 'yon dahil sanay akong lagi ako ang nauuna. Yet, naisip ko rin naman noon bago pa mag school year na maraming estudyante ang lilipat dito, and I expect that they're more intelligent than me. Pero hindi ko inaakalang si Damian 'yun.