My Happy Place (a Drarry Texting Fic)

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@thedragonking I'm in a bit of a silly, goofy mood. Might just commit sewer-slide... Or shave off all my hair, who knows??

@user1 Aww no, king, no, please don't think this!! On either account, we love you and ur glorious locks 😭

@cvntknuckle Do it. No one wants a sicko like you alive, anymore, anyway. Not after what you and ur fellow Slytherin scum did during the war. I lost my sister, you piece of shit. She deserved to live, you definitely don't. Do it.

@user2 @cvntknuckle Draco is amazing, stfu

@cvntknuckle @user2 You must be how old? Twelve?

@user2 @cvntknuckle I'm not a minor, asshat, maybe I should be asking you that since you've got that stupid username. He's so much more than that and you're a horrible person to say such a thing.

@cvntknuckle @user2 No, I just have good sense. All of you teenage girls fangirling over a criminal who didn't get a shred of jail time in Azkaban. Carry on, you lot. But I stand by my decision. The world would be a better place without you.

@annoyingassuser Check ur dms, my photos might cheer you up ;)

@user4 Ah, shit. Daddy Draco's gone on voyage, depression's made camp now. This happens way too often to you, mate... Hope you feel better.

@user5 At least he doesn't have to be like this all the time. Being full-time depressed for years and years is no laughing matter..

@user6 @user5 Okay, and?? Don't invalidate his experience just cos you want attention, everyone's allowed to hurt.

@user5 @user6 I just want attention, huh? You should meet my parents, bet you'd get along fucking swimmingly.

@user7 So many of these comments just did not pass the vibe check. Welp, Draco, you might never see this but I do hope you feel better. I don't know what you're going thru but I really do. Sending you love 🤍

@pi3ceofshit3 One less fag in the universe would certainly make God happy so... Eh.

@fruitymf Look, everyone, it's a Christian!! Here to bring our daily dose of their brainwash bullshit, don't you just love remembering your religious trauma thanks to one single, stupid comment?? 🤩

@rainbowdeity @fruitymf Don't sweat it fellow rainbow warrior, the poor thing is obviously dealing with a bad case of internalised homophobia.

@pi3ceofshit3 What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!

@rainbowdeity When you're ready to admit you're one of us, we'll be here. Waiting 😙🤗💖

@fruitymf @pi3ceofshit3 haha yeah what they said. One of us, one of us, one of us! 😈

Draco Malfoy? Hi. It's Harry Potter.

Yeah, I figured. Blue checkmark, millions of followers. You're the real deal. Just can't figure out why you decided to send a text for the life of me. What? Plan to join your loyal fans in bashing me?

Just like you, I'm not a part of that whole thing. I don't know why they talk like that. And it's not like yours are innocent, either.

If they were innocent, they surely wouldn't be following me, Potter, keep up with the times

Ugh. I knew this was a bad idea. Why'd I even bother?

Good question. I was wondering the same thing, actually. Why did you bother?

One of my best mates made me. Said we needed to hash out some things and try to understand each other or something like that.

Well, I know for a fact it couldn't be Weasley. So Granger, then... Makes complete sense. She and Pans have been hanging out. Must've hatched up some kind of plot. I've been wanting to figure it out but I guess I know, now and you're services are no longer needed so fuck off, yeah?

With pleasure. You're still just as much an arrogant dickhead as all those years ago, huh? I had hoped there'd be at least a little improvement. It's been roughly a decade, after all.

A decade not speaking to you isn't long enough, Potter.

Alright, then. Good chat. At least I can tell Mione I tried. Best of luck, Malfoy.

Wish I cared enough to wish you the same, Potter.