Solace (Complete)

25. Pain

As the car was about to hit me a hand pulled me away from the road to the side and hugged me like their life depend on that. After a moment or two I came out of my shock and move away from that person who saved me. It was Ryan, his eyes were filled with worry. He was saying something to me but I couldn't hear anything, I can see his lips moving but can't hear any side. His hands were still holding me so I pulled away from his grip but he wasn't letting me.

"Leave me" I whimpered.

"Never" he told me quietly.

"I said leave me alone" I yelled at him this time and pushed him away with force which caught him off guard and he fell on the ground.

"I I am sorry" I was shocked and by the look on his face he was too. I apologised and then turned around. I hailed a cab and told the driver to take me away. I don't want to go to my house right now, so I went to the only place where I felt at peace. My Cottage. I told cab driver to drop me at main road, I will walk rest of the way to cottage. I don't want anyone to know that place. I handed him some bills from my bags that was somehow clinging to my shoulder in all the chaos. I started walking away, when I heard him saying something to me but I was so busy in my thoughts that I kept walking.

"Miss take your change" he was yelling but after few moment I turned into Woods that lead to my home.

I kept walking for half an hour before I reached inside cottage, I went to the couch and laid down on it and started crying. I don't know for how many hours I cried before sleep came over me.

I woke to the ringing of my phone, I took out my phone from my hand bag, there were 30 missed calls from Ryan and 25 from Chris. Ryan must have told Chris about me. There were also some unread messages but I didn't open them. I switched off my phone and threw it on the coffee table infront of me. My eyes felt so heavy due to immense crying, but still I feel I can cry some more. But I don't want to cry, I have to stop thinking about him. And only one thing can help me with that. So I stood up and went inside my room and opened the drawer in which I stored them the last time I came here. So I took them and went in the living room towards couch. I lit my joint and succumbed myself in the momentary bliss and solace. For a moment I forgot about everything my mother, Ryan and even kol. I only felt happiness and peace.

That's what I did for the next two days, whenever I feel it's effect is wearing down I get high again. I spent my two days sitting on that couch just getting High. I haven't eaten anything, I don't feel hungry. I have drunk water one or two times and that's it. I think if I keep going like this I will die but I am not worried about that. I am not scared to die, its not like anyone will cry if I die. My mom will be happy that she won't have to deal with me anymore. Chris will cry a little but that's it, after few days he will also forget me. Dad, he will also get sad a little bit then he will also get busy in his business meetings because they are very very important. Beth and Steven, they will be upset for me for more days then my parents, Beth will cry alot but then they will also forget me with time. And Ryan, I don't know what he will do. Maybe he will also be happy that I am dead.

As I was busy thinking of all the possibilities, I heard a car outside. Who can come here at this time? What if Chris came, if he will see me like this then he will start hating me and I don't want that. I panicked and looked at the door. It opened and Ryan came in my blurry vision. I was quite high so may be I am hallucinating. Why would he be here? He doesn't know about this place. I sighed and laid down again. When I heard his voice

"Thank God you are here, I looked for you everywhere" He said somewhat relieved. I scoffed and closed my eyes, now I can hear voices too.

"Go away, I know you are not real" I said and sleep came over me.