Solace (Complete)

31. Ryan POV

Ryan's POV

I am sitting in my office thinking back to the time when we were kids. Chris is my best friend since we were kids and our families are very close. Chris and calista used to spend most of their time in our home. For my mother calista is a daughter that she always asked for, she admire her alot. Not only her but all of us admire her as she is the baby of the family. In starting I only take her as a baby sister as we were 5 year apart. But it all changes as we grew up, I started developing feelings for her, whenever any other boy get close to her I disliked it. I became possessive for her. When I ponder over my feelings I realized I am in love with her and it felt wrong so I distance myself from her. She would cry and I never go to her to wipe her tears. I started keeping away from her, I don't want anyone else to know and think bad about me. I don't want calista to think bad of me.

With passage of time she also went away from me and I couldn't take it so I went to New York with the thought that may be I will control my feelings by staying away but hell I was wrong, I never get over her because she was my first love and you can never forget your first love. When I will come for vacation I will avoid her as much as I can because by seeing her my feelings always increases tenfold. After my University I planned to work in New York. In this period of time I tried to date different girls but I never felt anything for them so eventually we would broke up. So I lost the hope and planned to stay single and busied myself in my work.

I thought that I had overcome my feelings for her in those years but I was wrong. These feelings never went away they were always their buried in my heart and they awoke after seeing her again after all those years of avoiding, I was on the same page. Seeing her in that black dress totally changed and grown up. I fell I love with her all over again. When I met her I couldn't kept my eyes away from her. She had changed alot, first thing I saw in her was her eyes. They gave away her secret, their was so much pain in those eyes screaming to let out. And I felt something is off with her, she was never like this. She was a very kind little girl who would always think of others before her but now she has only anger for others. I felt my resolve breaking again by seeing her and this time I wanted her at any cost but I told myself to be strong.

But fate wasn't on my side she became my assistant and I had to see her daily. At first I tried to be harsh on her but that didn't last long. When I saw her not taking care of herself I had to take care of her and broke my promise to myself. And when I came to know of her addiction my heart broke not because she became an addict but because of the reasons she had to go to that path. She had no one for her all those years and she chose that path out of loneliness and frustration. I wasn't there for her but now I promise myself that I will never leave her alone. I will help her in getting rid of that addiction and coming back to the right Track. Now I also know that she also feels the same about me, I know those flowers were from her. I saw her putting those on my desk and she thought that I won't recognize her hand writing, how naive of her.

It's been 3 months of her in rehab away from here from me. And she is doing good than before. It wasn't easy for her, in her first month there she broke out couple of times in front of me and I had to fly down there for her. But she is my strong girl and never gave up. So it's her 3 month being clean and in few days she would be out. I am proud of her. She did it for her friend and more for herself. Next week she will be out and I will confess to her my feelings. I had told Chris about my feelings for his little sister, he deserves to know as he is my best friend. He told me that he always knew and was waiting for me to confess. That Fucker! So now as it's Yes from him even it was no I won't care now because I want to be there for her. And now I will have her by my side. I can't wait for that day when she will walk on aisle to me.