Solace (Complete)

26. Funeral

We reached my home after a long comfortable drive. We didn't speak much the whole way and I was comfortable with the silence. When he stop the car in front of his home, I didn't made a move to get out of it so he got out of his car and opened the door for me.

"Do you want me to come inside with you?" He asked me as I was getting out.

"No it's okay" I told him and move to go inside the place where I had never found my peace.

"Calista" he called me. I turned around and hummed.

"If you need me, I am just a call away" he told me. I sighed and nodded at him before moving inside my home.

Emma was standing in the foyer definitely waiting for me, I think Ryan had told her too. She looked at me with worry in her eyes.

"How are you?" She asked coming near me and engulfing me in her warm hug, I return the hug.

"I don't know Emma" I murmured.

"You will be okay" she said.

"Really?" I asked her.

"Yes" she said and smiled at me.

"Come I will make you something to eat?" She said to which I shake my head and told her that I have already eaten. She also told me that my suitcase is in my room which I left with Ryan. She told me that my parents are not at home, they are on a trip. Ofcourse, Were they ever there whenever I needed them the most?

"I am going to my room" I told her went upstairs towards my room. Maybe sleep will do me some good.
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I was sleeping when I felt some movement around me, someone placed blanket on me. I open my eyes to see who it is and I saw Chris standing beside the bed. He was about to turn around after placing blanket on me when I called him.

"Hey" I said and he looked at me with a faint smile then he sat on the bed in front of me.

"How is my baby sister? Sorry I woke you up" he asked.

"No it's okay" I sat up.

"What are you doing here at this time?" I asked him.

"Ryan told me that you are back so I wanted to see you. I wanted to come here sooner but was caught up in something" he told me.

Yes work is more important. I mentally scoffed.

Atleast he came. My inner self told me and I sighed at that.

"It's okay, you don't have to come anyway" I told him.

"Cal I-" he was about to say something when I cut him off.

"I want to sleep so if you will excuse me" I said and laid down in my bed turning my back towards him.

"Okay. Good Night, take care" he said and I heard him going out and closing the door lightly behind him.
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Next day Ryan came, I told Emma to tell him that I am coming. I have showered and dressed in a black dress. He texted me in the morning that he will take me to kol's funeral. I didn't wanted to go at first but then Ryan convinced me. I am still not ready to say goodbye to kol but this has to be done. I wore my shoes and took my phone with me. Then I went downstairs, Ryan was waiting for me in his car. I sat on passenger seat in front, he was driving today.

"Hi" I said quietly.

"Hey. Are you ready?" He asked me. I didn't look towards him instead looked out of my window.

"Yes" I told him and he drove away towards the church where his funeral is held. We reached after long 15 minutes. He took me inside where everyone was sitting his friends and some other people who I don't know. We both took a seat at the last row. His friends were saying last goodbyes to him but I haven't had the heart to say anything. Tom looked at me while giving a goodbye speech for kol and nod at me. He was asking me if I want to say something for him but I shook my head. I don't think I can do that. After that everything went in blur, I came out of my reverie when Ryan called me. He told me that it's our turn to see his face for the last time. I stood up, he held my hand in his to comfort me but nothing was comforting me at that moment. We made our way towards his casket in the front of the church. When I saw his face a whimper came out of my mouth, he was sleeping peacefully. There was no sign of worry on his face. I looked at his face for a moment or two but I couldn't take it anymore and ran out of the church. Ryan was hot on my heels.

"Calista are you okay?" He held my wrist and turned me around towards him.

"Please take me away from here" I told him.

"Okay" he said softly. Tom also came out and towards us.

"Hey calista" he said.

"Hi" I croaked out.

"Can we talk for a moment?" He said.

"Yes?" I said.
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We sat on a bench outside the church, Ryan went inside to give us some privacy.

"You know he talked about you alot. Since the day he met you he only talked about you all the time. Sometimes we would get so irritated but he didn't care and never stopped talking. He would always say how beautiful you are, how pretty you are. How strong you are and so much more." He said smiling at the memory. I smiled a little too.

"What happened to him? He was fine" I asked him.

"He had lung cancer, it was diagnosed last year but he refused to take treatment. He didn't tell any of us, he told me after he met you while he was drunk" he said.

"Why?" I asked confused at why he didn't get his treatment.

"I guess he doesn't had the reason to live until you came in his life but it was too late. He told me that night while he was drunk that he regret not taking treatment and he didn't want to die because he fell for you. He was in love with you calista, he wanted to live for you and with you. After his mother death when he was just 7 his father remarried and never cared for him and got busy with his new family. Kol started taking drugs since he was 14 and that addiction cost him his life." He told me and we both were crying at this point.

He loved me. Why didn't he told me before? May I could have persuade him in taking help.

"Why didn't he told me about his sickness?" I asked Tom.

"He thought that you will leave him and he wanted to spend his last days with you" he said and my heart broke at his words. He thought so low of me.

"I will never leave him like that" I said hurt that he thought something like that.

"Don't take him wrong calista, he had insecurities. After his mother's death he never got close to anyone but after you came in his life he let you in. He had this thought that everybody leaves him" Tom said.

"He wanted me to tell you that don't cry after his death, he didn't want to be the reason of your sadness. He wanted you to be happy, if not for yourself then at least for him. He wanted to see you happy even if that happiness doesn't involve him. He wanted you to live the life he never lived. Please calista it was his last wish. Will you fulfill his last wish?" He asked me. I looked at him not knowing what to say, my thoughts goes to our last conversation where he made me promise to leave my addiction. I think it's time to fulfill that promise as well.

"Please?" He pleaded again.

"Yes I will fulfill his promise" I told him.

"It's time for me to say him goodbye" I told Tom and he smiled at me as if he is proud of me.