Solace (Complete)

28. Confession

When I open my eyes, I was in a different room. I sat up and looked around, it was Ryan's room. Grey and white walls, king sized bed in the middle of the room. He was sleeping on the chair uncomfortably. I felt bad for taking his bed. I was staring at him when he starts moving and opened his eyes.

"You are awake, Good morning" he greeted with a smile in his sleepy voice and my heart skipped a beat.

"Good morning" I whispered. I felt embarassed at my behaviour last night, I shouldn't have reacted like that, what would Miller's think about me now?

"I am sorry for last night" I said and looked down playing with the blanket. He sighed and moved to sit beside me.

"Look at me" he said and I looked up in his eyes.

"You shouldn't be sorry about anything. It's a good thing that you took out everything that was troubling you from so long. You can't just keep everything in your heart, after sometime it becomes a burden." He told me.

"I need help Ryan, I can't do that on my own" I told him with tears in my eyes. It took me alot to open my heart to him. But that's the thing with him I don't have to think hard before speaking. I can trust him blindly.

"You are not alone in this, I promise" he smiled at me.

"You are going to New York, I have talked to my friend. He works in rehab, he will take care of everything and nobody will know. We will tell everyone that you are going on some internship or want some time away from home. Is it okay?" He said.

"Yes. Will you also go with me?" I asked in small voice.

"You tell me? Do you want me to come with you?" He asked me.

I thought for a while and decided to go alone, I can't trouble him any more than this. I know if I will tell him to come he will come with me leaving his work behind and I don't want this. Also I have to do this alone, I want him to see me as a strong girl.

"No I want to go alone" I told him.

"Okay as you wish. But if there's anything wrong you will tell me and I will be there for you. You won't hide anything from me. Promise?" He asked sternly.

" Promise" I promised back.

"Good girl" he said and caressed my cheeks softly.

A knock on the door came.

"Yes" Ryan said and Beth came in.

"Good morning my babies, breakfast is ready. Come down in 10 minutes, don't be late" she ordered in her usual chirpy voice and vanished.

"Okay Mom" he said behind her.
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We both came down together in the kitchen where everyone was waiting for us.

"Good Morning" Ryan greeted everyone and pulled out a chair for me to sit. I thanked him then he sat beside me. Matt was looking at our contact with curious eyes. Stephen greeted us back with a smile.

Beth serves us all with her yummy pancakes adding an extra in my plate and winking at me. I groaned

"I can't eat that much" I whined.

"I don't care, you have to eat all of them" she said and sat on my other side. When I didn't move to eat she looked at me and said

"Hurry up" I started eating without complain because I know if I won't start eating now she will add one more.

"Good girl " she said with a smile.

I was halfway through my breakfast when Matt spoke

"Is anything going between you guys that we don't know of?" He asked.

"Huh I- I " I stuttered, I don't know what to say. Is really something going between us or it's just his care towards me.

"No talking while eating" Beth interrupted and saved me.

I looked at Ryan, he was also looking at me back. I don't know what he feels for me but I do know what I feel for him and I will confess those feelings to him once I am  sober. Once I will come back I will tell him that I love him. I think he also likes me, thats why he is helping me so much. I am going to win him once I am back. I will!
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After breakfast I talked to Beth about yesterday night and apologised for my behaviour but she ignored it by saying that it's a good thing I let it all out in front of my parents and brother. I also want to tell her about each and everything but I refrained. Once I will be back and sober I will tell everyone myself. I don't want to keep it a secret anymore from those I love. She was always there for whenever I needed someone, I can't forget that. I owe that to her. I told her subtly that I will be away from home for few months because I got a job in New York. She seemed skeptical at first but then let it go by saying if I am happy then she is happy. After that she asked me THE question which I don't know the answer of but I think she deserves to know.

"What's going between you and Ryan?" She asked with a hidden smile.

"I - I don't know what are you talking about?" I tried to ignore it but she pushed me more.

"Come on you can't hide that from me I can see that in your eyes" she was grinning at me. Ofcourse she knows. I sighed and confessed

"Okay! I love him. Are you happy now" I told her trying very hard not to blush and she squealed after that.

"Oh my god! Oh my god! Am I hearing wedding bells?" She was all but happy.

"Hey stop shouting! He don't know anything. I don't even know if he reciprocate those feelings back" I sighed sadly.

"What do you mean?" She asked confused

"It's one sided only, I don't if he thinks the same about me" I told her

"Come on girl can't you see how he looks at her and how he cares for you. I know he is my son but that guy never cares for anyone as he does for you" she told me

"Really? Do you think so?" I asked still not convinced.

"Yes of course. You go to New York but after you come back you will confess him or I will beat you to pulp because I only want you as my daughter in law got that?" She said sternly and I relaxed at that. I am happy that she is in my support in this.

"Yes I will" I told her and she hugged me.

"I am so happy for you my sweetie" she said with so much love that I felt at peace.

"Beth you know you are the best in this world?" I asked her still trapped in her arms.

"Well.. I know" she said and we both started laughing.