A Wish Just For You

February: You

I finally got up the courage to go out alone after so long I was cooped up at home to recover my health. It's not easy to convince Eddy at first, but after a few moments he finally let me do it if I promise to get home before dark.

And here I am, just strolling around in a tunnel of trees. Songs of birds makes me smile, some fresh air feels relieving my body. It's been a while.

My feet keeps stepping forward until I reach a park with a bunch of kids playing around with the swings, slide, even in the box of sand.

A few people passing by greeted me nicely although I didn't really know who they are, but it's nice to see them again.

After a few minutes of staring at the surroundings, I decided to take a sit on a wooden bench at the corner of the park. I brought a sketchbook and a pencil with me here, just in case I felt bored.

Slowly, I sketch randomly those kids playing there. Even though I can't really draw straight lines, but at least I'm having fun doing it.

It takes time to finish it. In the middle of the progress, I smile to the unfinished drawing. My mind flies to another thought, then I fold  my sketchbook paper to a new one.

This time I try to draw someone who just popped out in my mind. My cheeks slowly heated up as the lines combined into a certain face, and I immediately smile shyly when I can see the complete face.

My heartbeat went faster as I called out his name inside. This is really so sudden but ever since that nightmare I experienced, I feel like a familiar feeling has came back to me. Maybe I didn't realize it when I just woke up from the coma, but it feels really right now. Somehow, I can't act as calm as I am before.

I can't be sure who he really was, he's just a man with thousands of kindness... but is it weird that I slowly falls for him?

"Well, well, who have we here." Someone's voice scattered my fantasy and just sits beside me without asking.

I look at them and just smile. "Hey. Um, Kelly... is it?"

"Oh, I'm glad you still remember me, how have you been, hm?" Kelly asked.

"I'm fine. Uh, it's been a while I didn't see you," I said as I put away my sketchbook on my lap, backwards so Kelly can't see what I was drawing. "Are you busy lately?"

"Busy?" Kelly glances to the park. "I guess you could say that. Trying to make my days more satisfying."

"Oh... that's great, I guess?" I said even though I can't quite understand what she meant. "By the way, I'm sorry before, I heard Eddy refuse to hangout with you. I'm really, really sorry about that. I'm sure he didn't mean it."

Kelly's expression changed instantly after I said that. She stands and look at me with her hands on her waist. "Why are you apologizing?"

"Eh?" I'm quite surprised seeing how intense she become. "I just thought that... it may hurt you or something."

There's a silence gap between us, until Kelly gpances to the sketchbook I embrace. "Hey, what's that?"

"Uh, it's nothing, really." I embrace it more since I can see Kelly seems interested with my sketch. I can't possibly show my ugly drawing to her.

"Are you drawing alone here? Hey, let me see!" said Kelly. "I can give you some tips to improve you know."

"No, it's fine. But thanks for offering." I said again.

"No, really! Just let me see!" Kelly keeps trying to get me give my sketchbook to her.

"Ah!" Before I knew it, she initially grabs it and see my drawing with her own eyes.

I felt a little uncomfortable with what she did, specially with her expression instantly in disbelief.

"Is this... Eddy?" She asked as she glance back to me.

I grab my sketchbook back and embrace it again before I slowly nod. "I... I know my drawing is not good. But... yeah. It's him."

Kelly laughs. "Then, maybe you can help me for your apology."

"How?" I furrowed my eyebrows, felt confused with what she said.

"You lost your memories, right? I can tell all about Eddy for you, but you must promise me that whatever you do, don't tell Eddy or anyone else about this." Kelly said. "How about it?"

"Huh? But why can't I tell them?"

"Well that's the deal. Just keep the information for yourself."

"Uh... okay. Then, can you tell me about him? I believe you're close to him, right?" I smile a bit.

Kelly casually smiles, then sit back again beside me. "First of all."

She takes a few seconds gap, then said this straight up. "Eddy is mine."

"What?"

"Eddy and I have been together for years and you're the reason we break up." Kelly casually talks about like nothing.

I start to tremble with her statements.

"I guess, you being his closest friend made him didn't pay attention to me and he just made more time for you than me. He even lived with you." Kelly continues.

"But I thought... you guys are happy together?" I said in disbelief. "What did I do to you and Eddy?"

Kelly glances to me and smiles. "What did you do? You're being a burden to Eddy. You act like you need Eddy for your daily activities, yet you stole him from me! How innocent are you to ask me that?"

"But... Eddy said..."

"What? He said he will be there for you? Well jokes on you, he's only lying to you because you are nothing now!" Kelly laughs again. "Maybe you should regain yourself and face the truth! You didn't know anything and only accepts what you see, right? You didn't notice that you've been fooled! Why do you think he abandon you for me when it's Christmas Eve?"

Flashback starts to get into my mind. Eddy clearly did that. We both always played together, he even have the nicest, sweetest attitude towards me, but whenever Kelly shows up, he always made me go home first so he can spend time with her.

Then again, why did my feelings tries to reject all of that? My body shakes throughout Kelly's information flows to my ears, I'm trying so hard to accept them as I already knew they both must be a thing. But...

Why? Why did Eddy lie to me then?

Kelly pokes my shoulder once. "Now you know why I haven't been meeting Eddy right? It's because of you! You should know that and tell Eddy to find me again, okay?"

I just silent in my place as Kelly walks away. My eyes glances to where she's gone.

Once again I stare at Eddy's face on my sketchbook. My hand touch it on the cheek part as my tear falls to it. My body keeps trembling so hard.

I'm a burden to Eddy? I made them seperated? Then... does that nightmare means...? Is Eddy really going to leave?

A screech starts to cover the park. I cover my face as I cried so hard on the bench. Confusion, sorrow, guilty got mixed up inside my chest.

I can't do this. I can't fall in love with him if that's true. I need to get these feelings buried. Now or else.

To be continued :]