I fell in love with my best friend

Make the right decision?

TOni POV

Bryan has been gone for 4 days now and I've only spoken to him twice. I know he's working, well we've both been working. I missed a few calls too because I was in the studio, but when I called back he didn't answer. I don't like the way I'm feeling and I don't like the fact that we're not really communicating like we use to. When he's away I depend on our conversations to keep us connected, I need that, We need that! This is getting annoying.

Toni decided to go out with her friends instead of waiting up by the phone.

Mr. Chow's restaurant

Jada: Hello luv, how are you?

Toni: I'm doing good

Jada: how's your fiancé?

Toni rolls her eyes because she was trying hard to not think about him.

Jada: What's going on?

Toni: Well for the past few weeks I've been feeling like he's pulling away from me

Jada: Do you think it's someone else?

Toni: no, I don't think so .... Well I hope not and I think he would respect me enough that I wouldn't see it or even feel it.

Jada: so what is it?

Toni: Well, we had a conversation about getting married and I admitted that I wasn't ready and needed more time.

Jada: 😂 More time? This man has waited 17 years to get with you and he's been with you for 5 years and you still need more time? Lol

Toni had to think about it for a second.... Is there really a limit on the time that you need to be sure -she thought

Toni: J, you know his lifestyle and he's always on the road. I hardly see him. When I see him it's great, but when I don't it's lonely AF. I feel like we are missing each other more than being together .

Jada: look who you're talking to, I have the same life with Will, but if he asked me to marry him today I would still say yes. Listen, I'm your best friend and I'm going to be honest with you. You're being selfish!
You love the fact that he loves you and he's willing to spoil and protect you. I get it, it's a great feeling but it's not fair to him. He deserves someone to love him the same. Listen, Bryan is a very smart and wealthy man. If you think he can't get another woman because of " his lifestyle" you're fooling yourself. I'm sure he has women at his door left and right, but the fact of the matter is ......all he wants is you! Now, if you don't want him that's okay but it's not okay to keep stringing him along. He's been good to you! He deserves better and if anyone should know that it's you.

Toni started to tear up... Am I being selfish? But I do love Bryan, I just don't want to get married. Is that really so wrong? - she thought

Toni: I do really love him, I'm just scared to death. You know what I went through with Keri. I couldn't even pay him to love me the way that I loved him. I vowed to never love another man like that again. My heart won't let me do it. That pain is unbearable...... Still!

Jada: Are you still in love with Keri?

Toni: No, no I don't want him. But I still think about the fact that I thought he was the love of my life and then we ended ..... without real closure. I still have some unanswered questions, that I know I'll never get the answers to.

Jada: Ahhhhh, so this is what is holding you up?

Toni: No, that is pushed to the back of my mind. Bryan being so unpredictable is what's making me question our future and I refuse to go through another divorce. What we have now is amazing but is it a recipe that is built to last forever? I've always said the first time I married for love and the second time would be for money. Well, I considered Bryan because he was my friend that had a lot of money and I fell in love in the process. It's not the same love I had with Keri, no but it's a love that I didn't even know existed. I feel so safe and I feel alive .... I'm not afraid to fall because I know he'll be right there. My heart skips a beat when I see him but there are some things that just makes me question everything.

Jada: if you think for one second Bryan doesn't feel everything that your feeling but not saying you're fooling yourself. That man is in love with you and he can read you like a book. He knows what you're thinking and he knows how you're feeling without you saying a word. He's actually confused how you can operate in full capacity (cook, clean, make love to him) without truly wanting to be there long term.

Toni: You think so?

Jada: Definitely! He's trying to let you go... He knows eventually you're going to break his heart so he decided he's going to start the process early so he doesn't end up so broken hearted in the end. He's accepted the fact that he's not who you want.

Toni: But that's not true.... I do want him! I love him!!

Jada: Who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself? Because if you really loved him you would've married him a long time ago. You want the perks of him.... The protection, the provision, finances and that good hood dick. I know it's good, I can tell by the way you've been acting. Posting all those 1/2 naked pics on IG. I know that feeling when a man is giving you good dick and you feel sexy. I get it! But you're going to have to let it go and let someone else who truly loves him enjoy his genuine heart and good dick.

Toni looked sad, but she knew deep down it was true. Uggghh but she didn't want to let him go, not now not ever.

Jada: If you don't, he will likely cheat on you if he hasn't already. Not because he doesn't love you but because he's trying to get over you while he's with you so he doesn't end up hurt in the end.

Toni: I don't know what the fuck I want 😭

Jada: But you do know what you don't want. So you have to deal with it like a grown ass women and forgive Keri and release Bryan and move on with your life.

Toni: I'm not ready! I need more time.

Jada: Here we go with this shit again

They both laugh

Toni: Right now, I just need him to come home so we can talk because I don't know what I'm feeling right now.

Jada: Well post one of those thirst trap pictures on IG, I bet that will bring him right home. Since he ain't picking up the phone.

They both busted out laughing

Toni: I love you, thank you!

Jada: I love you too, I know you'll make the right decision.