No Darkness Lasts Forever (Minsung)

🌘 5 🌒

Jisung was sleeping longer than Minho. He opened his eyes almost three hours later than the latter. His head was about to explode because of the bad sleep. It was almost six in the morning when he finally fell asleep. He didn't even remember when he had a last good sleep.

Jisung left his bed and took a painkiller against his headache. He sat in the kitchen and looked out of the window. The thought of going to buy some groceries left his head just as fast as it came. No way he would go out. Jisung didn't feel like going anywhere. There were too many people outside. He would be rather starving than going to the store.

The boy needed to wake his brain up. And how else would he do it if not with the right amount of caffeine? He made himself a coffee not caring if it was good or bad in combination with the painkiller he had taken earlier. Maybe it wasn't healthy but the boy couldn't care less. Suddenly he recalled a situation when he was at home and his brother had a headache. He made himself a coffee and their mum scolded him, that he should not be drinking caffeine when he just took painkillers. Well, in Jisung's apartment was nobody who could scold him and also, he was already used to such a combination.

The boy shrugged his shoulders and took a sip of his coffee.

After he finished it, he put the cup into the sink and lay in his bed again. He covered himself and closed his eyes. Jisung tried so hard to think about something nice, he really did his best. But this was a fight he couldn't win. Not alone. He needed someone to be by his side. Someone he could lean on. But there was nobody like that because no one really cared. Maybe if Jisung found someone who sincerely cared, he would not be able to tell them anything. He would lie that he is okay until they would give up. The boy would keep everything to himself. He has been living this way for a pretty long time and he knew that one day he will probably explode. It will be the day when he won't be able to carry everything on his own. When his thoughts will win the last and the biggest fight. He was still fighting but wasn't sure how long will he last. The pain was only growing bigger and bigger every day. Before everything had happened, he had thought that time heals. Now, he was sure it wasn't true. The time made everything even worse. The longer it lasted the worse the pain was. If his parents knew what was going on inside his head, would they come? What about his brother? Would he care? Jisung didn't know how to answer the questions. There were too many of them. All he wanted were answers. He didn't need an answer to every question. Just to a few of them. No, screw that. To one question. When will the pain end? He was exhausted. That's what the pain caused to him. That everything was dark. He was looking for the light he had lost a long time ago but couldn't find it anywhere. It was probably lost forever. He was alone in dark. Confused, lost, anxious and exhausted. Jisung tried to heal himself but it didn't work. The pain was just getting worse. The darkness was slowly swallowing him.

Jisung couldn't take his thoughts anymore so he stood up and went back to the kitchen where he made himself something to eat. He was not hungry. He had completely lost his appetite some time ago but if he didn't stop himself from thinking he would go crazy. If he wasn't crazy already.

After he sat on the couch in the living room Jisung started eating as he was looking nowhere. Maybe he should turn on some music to focus on something. But what kind of music did he like? What song would he turn on? He didn't like anything. Jisung would do his hobbies, but he didn't have any. There was nothing he was interested in. No hobbies, no interests, living in his painful thoughts. If he was okay, he would surely think about Minho. But now he couldn't because all he was able to think about was the past. The painful and dark parts of it. He was broken.

The worst part of the day came. Jisung had to go to work. He still didn't feel like going outside but he knew that he had to. He didn't want to call his boss and lie that he feels sick and can't come. What if he really gets sick and he would have to go to work because his boss wouldn't believe him? So he got dressed, in black clothes of course, brushed his teeth and styled his hair a bit because it was too messy.

Jisung came to work almost thirty minutes earlier but stayed in his car for a few minutes. He had to mentally prepare. The boy was sure that it won't be an easy day actually that it would be one of the hardest ones. He took a few deep breaths and closed his eyes. Then he got off the car.

When he finally left the building, it was dark already. It was cold outside and Jisung still felt a lot anxious. He couldn't wait to come home where he was alone. The streets were almost empty because it was late for people to go anywhere. Jisung was jealous of everyone who was at home at the moment.

When he got in he looked at the passenger seat where had been sitting Minho just the day before at the same time. He was looking out of the window at the night sky or at the night city of Seoul, Jisung wasn't sure. The gentle and happy boy in pink became a sweet memory. Jisung wished he could go back in time and experience the whole night again. It was one of the good nights in such a long time.

The boy smiled at the thought of Minho smiling while holding his hand. Minho's hand was so gentle and warm. Jisung almost felt as if he was at home. Luckily he had his number but he felt like he would waste the other's time if he texted him. And maybe Minho didn't even want to talk to him. Maybe he wanted Jisung's number just because Jisung wanted his. What if Minho didn't enjoy the night as much as he had said? What if he had said that just because he didn't want to hurt him? Was Minho a liar or was Jisung too pessimistic?

Jisung shook his head and started the engine.

The first thing Jisung did when he came home was that he took a hot shower and then put on clean pyjamas. He made himself a light dinner and switched on tv but he wasn't interested in any of the programs so he ended up eating in silence. Then he washed the dishes and brushed his teeth. He lay in his bed and covered himself. When he took his phone he found a notification. Someone had sent him a text. Who could it be? Jisung tried to guess in his head but when he opened it he was surprised. It was from Minho.

🌸Minho🌸

Hiiiii

Jisung smiled. He looked at the time the text was sent and found out that it was almost an hour and a half ago. Minho was probably sleeping by the time and the boy was hesitating whether to reply or not. In the end he decided to do so. If he was sleeping then he would find the text in the morning.

🎀Jisungieeee🎀

Hi

It was definitely Minho who gave him such a nickname. He would never call himself as was written and he would surely not put there such an emoji.

Jisung put the phone on the bedside table and still smiling closed his eyes.