Idol? Ex? Doctor? What? - english version

Part I

Jennie Kim

Today is the anniversary of your departure. I stopped counting because I didn't want to keep hurting myself with it, but it's impossible not to remember the date you gave it all up. The day you gave up on our group, your career, us.

Will I ever see you again?

Do you remember how easy was to laugh when we were together?

Why did you run away?

Why did you drop everything and disappear?

If I was as important to you as you always said, as you always made me feel, why did you leave me?

Do you still think about me?

Because there isn't a day that I don't think about you, Kim Jisoo, and one of my biggest regrets is that you left without knowing how much I was in love with you.

"Are you in la-la-land?" I notice fingers being snapped close to my face.

"Don't bother her, today is her birthday." Rosé says, also known as Chaeyoung.

"Are you still counting?" Lisa rolls her eyes.

"Let's not get into that discussion again." Rosé puts her hand on Lisa's arm.

"Why can't you just accept that she didn't feel the same way about us? She left us, without a damn explanation or goodbye. She never cared about us, you need to accept that to move on." Lisa raises her voice and I feel the hot tears on my cheeks.

"Baby, what happened?" Kai appears and hugs me tightly "I'm here, everything will be fine." he caresses my back.

"I miss my best friend so much." the tears insist on falling "I just wanted her back."

"Yes, my love, it's been a long time. It's time to move on, because she left with her best friend." Kai says and I feel my body tense. I start to feel irritated as I remember that I always valued her more than I should have, because her efforts were all aimed at someone else.

"You're right." I move away from Kai and wipe my tears "It's time to leave Jisoo and Soojoo in the past." I take a deep breath and smile at them.

3 months later

We're in the middle of our world tour and rehearsal for tomorrow's show is going really well. I don't know why they put some steps on the set, as if the girls and I weren't unbalanced enough. I mentally roll my eyes as I realize this.

Thankfully it's a slow song and we don't need to dance, otherwise all the chaos would be formed before anything else.

Rosé is running after Lisa and I don't understand how these two can be such children being taller than me. Height was never one of my strengths anyway. I'm trying to carefully descend the steps as I sing my lines, but for some stupid reason, my feet seem to have a life of their own, and I end up turning my left ankle.

DAMN IT! Just now that it was recovered. I start to cry, both for the pain and for the hatred I feel for myself for having such a fragile body.

Before long, the girls and the manager are around me. Another manager is on the phone and he's possibly calling the hospital.

"Jen, from 0 to 10, how much is it hurting?" Rosé sits beside me.

"5, if I stay still, but when I try to move, it goes up to 7 or 8, I don't know." I say while trying to control the tears.