Idol? Ex? Doctor? What? - english version

Part XVI

Lisa Manobal

The way things are in this room, anywhere is better than here. I take Jisoo's card from Soojoo's hands and leave the office leaving the two beasts alone. I just hope they don't kill themselves.

I climb the stairs to help myself gain a few extra minutes. After all this time, I should have gotten over Jisoo's fault, but I can't. She left a hole in my life that I could never fill, no matter how many friends I made.

I take a deep breath looking at the sign on the door, which just says 'Dr. Kim Jisoo'. Some people walk past me and give me weird looks. I give a soft beat and my heart is racing like never before.

"One moment." Jisoo's firm and authoritative voice. I always admired the way she could control her voice so well, in such different tones, from high to low, without being out of tune. I open the door slowly and she's sitting behind the desk, signing some papers that she seems to read quickly. The messy bun and glasses always made her look younger. "Lisa! I didn't know it was you." She looks at me in surprise and stands up.

"Soojoo said that..."

"I know." she clears her throat "So... is a yes?" she looks nervous and Jisoo nervous is something rare to see.

"We better put an end to this so we can move on." she just nods and takes off her coat, throwing it under the chair.

"Let's go." She gives me a soft smile, but it seems sincere.

"Where?" I arch an eyebrow at her.

"In a better place to talk, quieter and less oppressive. Nobody likes hospitals" she laughs.

"You seem to like it." I say without thinking and she looks at me when we enter the elevator.

"It's good to help people, it brings lightness to your soul." She presses the underground button. I bite my tongue to keep from saying what I'm thinking.

I get into her car feeling my stomach churn with nervousness and anxiety. Jisoo stops at a coffe just to take her order and quickly returns to her car. A few minutes later, we stop at a park and I just follow her.

"I think this is good." she says as she sits on a bench far away, with trees around and some flowers. "Come on, I don't know if you taste changed, but I ordered hot chocolate for you." She hands me a glass and I take it, sitting beside her. "How are you?"

"Worried about Jennie, she's not eating right after your fight." I take a sip of hot chocolate which is really wonderful.

"I see." she says after a few minutes "I didn't come here to talk about my problems with Jennie, I came here to give you an explanation." I feel her look on my face, but I refuse to look at her.

"Explain then."

"I know I was selfish when I left without saying anything and, honestly, I don't think there's any justification or explanation for what I did yet, but I couldn't look at you and give you one last hug, at least not if we both had know about it." I see a half smile on her face from the side view and I remain silent "I always saw you as a younger sister, Lisa, and I never, ever had such a strong and fun bond with someone like the one we had."

"So?" I turn to face her "Still, you chose to leave me and Chaeng because you and Jennie are too cowardly. You forgot that we were a family, above a group or music, we were a family that took care of each other."

"I know. I just thought about me and forgot that, in a way, you guys needed me because Jennie wasn't so calm and flexible with you two." she takes a sip of what appears to be coffee "I went to some of your events and Chaeng's. The ones you make alone for brands."

"What?" I look at her in surprise "Why?"

"I wanted to see how you were doing. If you two were eating well and taking care of yourselves, because you always end up sleeping too much." She smiles "I always felt proud when I left the events and I was sure you were phenomenal. How you two were born to be." Her look is so affectionate that before I know it, tears are escaping and she frowns "Sorry, I didn't know that this would hurt or upset you." she says quickly and I can see that she doesn't know what to do.

I hug her tightly and feel her arms around me. Jisoo will always be important, no matter what happens, I'll never be able to replace or hate her. She slides her fingers through my hair and strokes my back and it's like she's never gone away, like she's always with me.

"Forgive me, Lisa, for being selfish and leaving you. I know nothing I say will help with all the harm I've done to you, but I needed to get away." she says softly "I never wanted to destroy anything that was important to you and I know how much you're proud of the work you do. You're excellent, both professional and more so personal."

"Duh, Jisoonie!" I pull away when I can control the tears "Why are you being so corny?"

"Because you deserve all the cheesiness in the world, Lisa-yah!" She laughs softly and hands me a small package of kleenex. "You crybaby, nothing has changed."

"I'll never get to hate you. You'll always be important to me, but I need you to promise me something."

"What?" She looks at me suspiciously.

"Swear you'll never disappear from my life again. Promise me, that you'll continue in mine and Chaeng's from now on." I take her hands "I'm not going to get in the trouble between you and Jennie, but please don't leave us again."

"Yaaaaaah, Lili!" she says after a few minutes in silence and watching me as if seeing my soul "I promise and swear that I'll not leave my babies again." She smiles widely and hugs me again.