29. the voicemail

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hi em.
i don't really know how to say any of this or tell you what i'm feeling right now. this might not make sense to you. i don't know if you've talked to your dad.
i guess i should start by saying i'm not mad at you. i could never be mad at you for something that you had nothing to do with.
i know that you're feeling guilty. you're so good at feeling guilty, but babe, please don't. you're the only person in my life that hasn't hurt me.
you can't control any of this. it was inevitable. i know i probably don't know the entire truth. you might not, either.
what i'm about to say might make us seem impossible, but angel, we've always been impossible.
i have to go away. my dad has no money. i have to leave. i don't even know where i'm going, all he said was that he's sending me away.
i don't know how to make this easy for you.
you're impossible and i'm impossible and i fucking love you.
but i don't know what i can do anymore. im leaving today. you're probably in calculus, so i won't be able to say bye.
but em, i promise i love you. i heard you say it in your sleep. i know you love me, too.
i'll see you soon. i know it's not fair to ask you to wait for me, but if you don't i'll be fucking wrecked.
i love you. i have to go.

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