romeo + juliet ↠ l.h

21

Three weeks passed.

Three weeks filled with perfect unknowingness, perfect early morning kisses, perfect mystery.

Neither of us knew what was going to happen, we just knew that it was okay if our future was a mystery. Maybe it was okay if we weren't dating, and it was okay to hide. It was okay to not know when we would no longer have to hide.

Luke says we don't need to think about the future. He says I need to work on that. And I have, I have been working on it, but it's hard when all I can do is wonder.

I wonder where he's going to school (he hasn't decided yet), and I wonder what I will do next year. Where will we end up? We were both graduating in three months, yet had no clue. Luke told me he'd been accepted to schools on the east and west coast. I prayed that he stayed here, near New York City, while I did... whatever I decided to do.

Maybe I could just up and leave. I could take my car and just drive until I couldn't drive anymore. In my fantasy, Luke comes with me and we travel the country together. No, not the country. The whole world. We could go to London and Paris and Spain and Athens and I would never call my mom again. She would never know where I was. To her, I would vanish.

But all of my fantasies are unrealistic.

Luke will go to college far away. I will be stuck here, with my mom, forever. Luke will decide that he doesn't want to be with someone he has to hide from his family, and I'll be heartbroken. Everything is too good to be true, and I cannot just ignore the future like Luke does.

One day, we will get caught.

My mom had almost caught me sneaking out this morning. Almost.

I woke up at 6:00 am, like usual, and threw on a coat to shield myself from the cold February mornings. I tiptoed downstairs and through the halls, almost making it to the back door. As I prepared to walk through the kitchen, I heard my name called out from ahead.

"Emma?" my mom asked.

I quickly took off my slip on vans and tossed them aside. If she saw my shoes were on, she would know I was going outside, and how would I cover that up?

"Hi." I walked up to her, stretching as if I was tired.

"Why are you up?" my mom casually questioned. She continued to pour her coffee and hardly paid attention to me.

"I just didn't feel good. I think it's my period." I walked to the kitchen counter and took a seat. My phone started buzzing in my pocket.

Not a good time to call, Luke.

"Why's your coat on?"

Shit. My coat. How was I going to explain that?

Think, Emma.

"Our house is freezing. Can you turn up the heat or something?" I lied quickly, and I was proud of myself. Every lie I told to my mom no longer bothered me. She didn't deserve the truth.

"Are you sure you aren't getting sick? The thermostats on 72." she unenthusiastically said as she continued to make her coffee. Even when she thought I was sick, she didn't pretend to care.

And yes, I was completely lying. I was clearly not sick, but she didn't know that.

"Hope not." I muttered, before standing up and grabbing a glass of water. My phone, again, buzzed in my pocket. Luke was probably wondering where I was at. I felt so bad knowing he was there alone.

I headed back up to my room and shut the door, immediately pulling out my phone and calling him.

"Hey, my mom is awake for some reason." I sadly whispered. I saw him every single day, yet I felt crushed at the thought of not spending a morning with him.