romeo + juliet ↠ l.h

33. the letters

dear luke,
i don't have your address. or your phone number. i don't know if you'll ever read these, but i need to write this down or i'll go insane.
i miss you and it hurts.
there are days when i'm okay. i remind myself of your words.
the last time we spoke it was winter. now it's june. i graduated. you would have thought graduation was lame. we could've laughed about it together.
i'm sorry for what my dad did. you said not to feel guilty, but i do. i feel so fucking guilty. here i am about to go to USC with the money my dad stole from you.
i'll find a way to repay you. i know you don't care about money. but i will repay you. i swear.
i'm so sorry this happened.
i love you, luke.

love always, em

♡

dear luke,
you turned eighteen today.
happy birthday, my love.
does this mean i'll hear from you? it's been months. why haven't you found me yet?
you told me to wait, and here i am waiting. i'll wait for you for years, but i would appreciate if you showed up soon.
i bought you birthday presents with no way to send them to you.
i leave for college next week. i have a roommate. her name's ruby, and she seems really nice.
i know once i leave it will be harder for you to find me. you know my phone number. you know my parents address.
if you want to find me, you will.
until then, i love you. i always will.
please come back.

i love you luke.
emma.

♡

dear luke,
i'm writing this on my flight to california.
maybe you're there waiting for me.
maybe you talked to my friends. you know the address of my dorm. you have a big surprise planned.
i'm not getting my hopes up, though.
please find me.
i said i was okay but i'm not. the more time passes, the harder it gets. we're both adults. fuck our parents. fuck money.
come back to me before i have to try to hunt you down.
the only way i know how to cope is by writing these, and i know you'll never read them.
i have a heavy feeling in my stomach. does this mean it's over? i know people say to trust your gut but i really don't want to.
how are you doing? have you made new friends? do you think about me?
it's the end of july. you're supposed to be here.
please come find me.

love, emma

♡

dear luke,
how dare you. it's been 5 months.
i know you've thought about me.
if it doesn't kill you like it's been killing me, you are the worst person i have ever known. no one has ever hurt me like this.
i'm not writing any more letters.
i start my classes tomorrow.
i told you i'd wait, but i'm done.
i wake up ever goddamn day thinking you're going to show up.
it's unfair to me.
i've given you months to find me. if you wanted to, you would have.
i hope our paths cross again so i can tell you how much you've hurt me.

goodbye luke.