Across the Hall | L.S

Chapter 41

~ Harry's POV ~

"This is a stupid idea frogface." Louis huffed while shaking his head at me. 

I am not going over this again. 

Yesterday after Louis' scathing statement we ended up staying out there on the balcony till the sun went down, just silently holding each other and enjoying the hues of the sky change from a clear blue to oranges and pinks and ending in a dark blue littered with stars. 

As we silently laid there I tried to plan how we were still going to be together without my mother finding out so Louis didn't get kicked out of school. I know he said yesterday that he didn't care but I definitely do and would never be able to live with myself if I ruined his life like that. 

Since there was only two months left of school I decided that it was best that I not return to Repton Academy, instead I was going to stay here with Dylan. I would still graduate of course but I can just take my exams early and get my diploma before everyone else. 

Louis is not happy about this, not even a little bit, but I explained to him how its just easier for me to not be there and start taking on more modelling jobs so I can really get my foot into the world and get a steady income. 

There's also the part where I really don't want my mother to know where I am, as far as she is concerned I was held for seventy two hours as per her request and then released into the outside world. I am legally an adult so once I graduate from that school I'll be in the wind from her perspective. 

It's a little sad that all of my things have been left behind but its a small price to pay so I never have to see my mother again. I've come to terms that she will never accept me, I am not going to sit here and say that it doesn't absolutely shatter my heart into a million pieces but that's just life and I refuse to give up my happiness for someone who doesn't care about me. 

I feel like there's a small hole in my heart now, knowing that the person who gave me life, taught me to be caring and treat everyone with kindness wouldn't do that for her own son. 

But I'm going to try and not think about that, if I ignore that sinking feeling inside me then eventually it will go away right? I think I will always feel a little sorrowful due to both my parents not loving me but there isn't a single thing I can do about it. 

I used to think that I was broken and that's why they didn't love me but I have realised that broken things can be fixed and I cant.

 I am defective.

"Harry are you even listening to me?" Louis yelled and made me flinch a little, but it broke me out of the spiral I was about to go down. 

"Stop shouting at me." I scowled at him for a few seconds. "And no I wasn't listening to you but I already know what you've said because we've been over this a hundred times already. I am not changing my mind so be like Elsa and let it go." I rolled my eyes and decided now was a good time to get out of bed. 

We ended up picking out one of the rooms upstairs and just making ourselves at home, well technically this is my home now and I'm not going to lie; this place feels more like home than my house ever did. There was no endless supply of staff around to judge me, nor was there the eerie vibe of living in a museum. 

Sure everything was pristine here at Dylans flat but I knew that if I left a used cup on the side I could leave the room and when I came back it would still be there, its hard to describe really but I dont want to feel like a guest in my own home? I like to clean up after myself and not have someone lurking around behind me doing everything for me.