Attack On Titan | Random Scenarios |

The stool (Chaos)

Levi: Finally! The perfect stool!

Erwin: sniffs... *checks wallet*

Wallet: Peace~

Erwin: Anything for Levi... *silently crying*

Levi: I can finally use this to reach high places and for masturbation!

Erwin: What?!

Back at the godforsaken wall

Hange: Ooh~ Finally getting a stool to reach high places~?

Levi: And it's also my boyfriend, u dumb motherfucker bitch!

Hange: Huh?!

Levi: *walks away*

Hange: I-...

Levi: *steps on stool and grabs his beautiful bleach*

Levi: Fucking finally, no more asking for help or use a broken stool!

Levi: I could use this everyday!

Literally just weeks later

Eren: *comes in* Captain, commander Erwin ordered me to-

Levi: Get da fak out of here yogurt! Can't you see I'm busy?!

Eren: Sir, your holding a stool...

Levi: Brat dis is mah bf! We will never be separated!!!

Eren: Sir-

Levi: *angy cat hisses*

Eren: Commander! Captain Levi is at it again!

Erwin: *comes over* Levi enough! Your going cray cray!

Hange: *yeets over* It's not cute! Put da stool down sweetie!

Levi: *aggressive hissing with demonic aura*

Eren: *holds cross and bible* Lord saviour Marco! Vanish this demon!

Erwin: LET GO OF DA STOOL *grabs stool*

Levi: *bites hand*

Erwin: Ah! Screw you, you little hoe!

Hange: DIS ISN'T LEVI!!!

Eren: WAT DA FAK R WE GONNA DO?!

Hange: *deep sexy serious voice 🥵* Eren, get his ex...

Eren: Bitch?! Bold of u to assumed I know his ex?!

Hange: Ah fuck it! Come let's get the ex!

Erwin/Eren: *follows them*

Da bootiful closet

Eren: ...

Eren: R u joking?

Hange: Silence! I KNOW LEVI BETTER THAN ALL OF U!

Erwin: Bish I met him first!

Hange: I have more interaction with him!

Erwin: Fak u, u win

Eren: Can we just get his ex? I can hear agony screaming

Hange: Wait, who's handling Levi?

Erwin: ...

Meanwhile with Levi

Cadet: Captain we're begging you! We just wanna help you-

Levi: *breaks legs*

Cadet: FUCKKAJJAJBWJHWBBSJVSJ-

Priest: Fk dis shit I'm out! *yeets away*

BACK WITH THEM BITCHES

Erwin: Don't worry, I told the cadets and priest to exorcist him

Hange: K...

Eren: ...

Hange knocks the closet door then opens it revealing... the broom!!!

Eren: Seriously?

Erwin: A broom?

Hange: Broom, hear me out. I know your still upset about your break up with Levi and you've been hiding here for a while now...

Broom: ...

Eren: HANGE IT CAN'T EVEN TALK DA FAK!?

Hange: Yes! I know Levi misunderstood the whole situation but we desperately need some help right now!

Broom: ...

Erwin: Dis is so awkward...

Hange: You have to help us out! Levi is going bat shit crazy with the stool and your the only person-er I mean item that can talk him out!

Broom: ...

Hange: I promise you he will listen! You'll get back together with him eventually!

Broom: ...

Hange: You will?!

Broom: ...

Hange: GREAT! *grabs broom and run*

Erwin/Eren: Oi wait for us!

Back with that utter chaos

Hange: Hey guys we're back...

Mikasa: EREH-

Eren: Not now dammit!

Erwin: Where's the priest?

Cadet: He-*coughs*yeet himself out...

Eren: And captain...?

Cadet: Demon! *ded*

Erwin: Well we're fuck...

Hange: Okay broom, your our only saviour!

Broom: ...

Hange: *opens door and yeet broom in there*

Eren: Again, how tf is a broom gonna save us?!

Hange: We'll just have to wait n see then...

1 hour later

Eren: Ugh! This is taking forever!

Hange: Just give him and the broom some time Eren.

Erwin: Hange the broom can't talk

Hange: You can't understand the broom bcuz of ur eyebrows right?

Erwin: Bitch-

Levi: Hey brats-

Hange: Levi! Ur okay!

Levi: Ya, I'm okay just sore on the ass.

Erwin: Levi, we r never buying you anything except tea....

Levi: Fuck you!

Eren: So... How r u with uh...  The broom?

Levi: Oh right, can someone call Petra?

Petra: Captain! I'm here-

Levi: *punch da bish* U RuIneD maH ReLatIonsHip wItH tHe brOom!!!

Petra: WhaT Did I eVen dO?!?!

Levi/Petra: *girly fight*

Erwin: ...

Eren: ...

Hange: ...

Broom: I bang that slut

Eren: YOU CAN TALK?!

Broom: YOU HEARD NOTHING!