Take My Coat (Ruvyzvat (Ruv) x Depressed!Reader)

Chapter Three

TW: Very bad self harm in this chapter

You jolted awake from another nightmare. Gasping for air, you looked around just to realize it was all just another dream. You sighed as you wiped away your tears and grabbed yoir blades from your bag, taking them, along with your nun outfit and some bandages, into the bathroom, where you closed and locked the door. You put the stuff on the counter and undressed, turning the shower on.

As the water ran down your body, flashbacks came flooding into your mind. You began shaking and hyperventilating as tears ran down your cheeks. You just wanted it to stop. You quickly reached for your blade and put it up to your arm, quickly sliding it across. It wasn't enough. You did it more and more as the flashbacks got worse. You cut deeper and deeper with each swipe as you fought the urge to scream. Then, with one last deep cut, it finally stopped. You calmed your breathing and eventually stopped shaking. You looked down at your arms and realized just how badly you'd messed them up. Both were covered in deep cuts, each deeper as they went down. You could almost see the layer of muscle underneath them. You'd never done it this badly before, but you were strangely....calm.

You put your blade back on the counter and washed your hair and body before stepping out. You quickly dried yourself off and bandaged your arms, having to use a lot more than usual because of how much you were bleeding. You then got dressed and took your blades back to your room, putting them back in your bag. You felt a little lightheaded, and overall not too well, but it wasn't a big deal at the moment.

You headed to the kitchen and fixed your plate of breakfast before sitting at the table with Ruv and Sarv as usual. You didn't say much this time though. You were really tired, and just wanted to go lay down, even though you just woke up. You noticed Ruv watching you intently, almost looking..concerned? But you didn't bother thinking about it. Sarv tried to make conversation with you, but you didn't say anything, just gave an occasional 'hm' to acknowledge her.

As soon as you were done eating, you got up and put your plate in the sink before sluggishly heading back to your room, almost falling over a few times. Ruv and Sarv looked at each other, both concerned, but Sarv showing it more.

~~Ruv's perspective~~

Ruv noticed how pale you were when you walked in. He noticed how little you ate, how exhausted your eyes looked, how you didn't say a word to him or Sarv, how you occasionally winced when you moved a certain way, the pained expression you gave everytime you moved, how you almost collapsed as you left. He was concerned, though he kept mentally telling himself he had no reason to be. Why should he be? He had no reason to care about you, yet there was a small part of him that did for some reason.

When you left, after he was sure you were out of hearing range, he looked at Sarv. "Something's wrong with them." He stated quietly. Despite his concern, he still kept his demeanor. "I know. They didn't say a word and hardly ate!" Sarv replied, looking concerned. "They were very pale." He muttered. "Maybe they're sick." The other said, thinking. "Maybe. But I feel like it's something else." Ruv said, almost whispering the last part. Sarv shrugged. "I hope they're ok." She said, getting up and taking both of their empty plates and going over to wash them. 'Hopefully..' The man thought to himself as he stood up and went to his secret area.

~~Normal perspective~~

You collapsed on the floor as soon as you entered your room, wincing in pain as your arms hit the floor. You were lightheaded and cold. You wanted nothing more than to sleep, but you were afraid you'd have another nightmare. However, your fight against sleep was futile as you ended up succombing to unconsciousness.

You woke up hours later, still on the floor where you'd passed out. You then heard Sarv. "(y/n)! Are you ok!?" She asked, extremely concerned. You look up at her and nod, slowly sitting up. "Yeah...I'm fine." You said quietly, giving a weak smile go reassure her. She gave a nod and offered a hand to help you up. You took it and winced as she pulled you up. "Are you sure you're ok?" She asked, growing more concerned. "Y-yeah. Don't worry about me. I'm fine." You lied. You didn't want her to worry. She sighed and gave a small nod before heading to her room.

You closed the door and looked out the window. It was dark out. "Already? How long was I out?" You thought out loud as you sat on your bed. You picked up your phone from the nightstand and unlocked it, seeing all the missed calls and notifications. You sighed and blocked your ex before setting your phone aside and eventually drifted off to sleep.

You woke up tied to a chair. You tried to scream but you couldn't. You were gagged, and something was tied around your mouth. Panic set in as you sharply looked around, trying to figure out where the hell you were. That's when you saw him. You let out muffled screams as your boyfriend approached you with a crowbar. "Shut the fuck up you stupid bitch!" He said loudly as he hit you in the head with the crowbar, but not quite hard enough to knock you out. You whimpered as tears ran down your cheeks. "I think you know why you're here." He said, crossing his arms. You slowly shook your head as your tears kept flowing. "You know damn well why you're here dipshit. It's because you're dumbass tried to run away." He then hit you again. And again. Repeatedly until you were barely conscious. That's when he tossed the crowbar aside and pulled a gun out of his pocket. Your eyes widen as yoir tears flow faster. He pointed the gun directly at your head and put his finger on the trigger. "There is no escape for you." He pulled the trigger, and you blacked out.

You were awakened by someone harshly shaking you. "(y/n)! What's going on? Wake up!" They were almost yelling. You didn't recognize the voice at first, as it wasn't Sarv's. This sent you into a panic, and you started shaking and hyperventilating, trying to get away from whoever was there. They let go of you and backed up slightly. Then, your vision focused and your panic slowly faded. It was....Ruv?

He looked at you, almost looking concerned. "Wh-" "I heard screaming, so I came to see what was going on." He cut you off. "O-oh.." You muttered as you wiped the tears from your eyes. You didn't want him to see you cry. You and him just looked at each other for a moment, neither of you saying a word.

Finally, Ruv broke the silence. "Nightmare..?" He asked quietly. You just nodded, figuring it'd be pointless to try and lie about it. "What happened..?" He asked, looking at you with his expressionless face. "I...don't wanna talk about it.." You muttered, looking away. He simply nodded, showing he understood. The silence returned.

After a bit, Ruv broke the silence once again. "You ok.?" He asked in almost a whisper. You heard it though, and looked at him, giving a slow nod. "Y-yeah..I think so." You said quietly, giving a small smile. He nodded. "I'll be going then." He said before starting to head out of your room. You waved as he closed the door, leaving you alone once again.

'Does he actually care about me?' You thought to yourself as you laid back down, staring at the ceiling.