Lightning Strikes Twice

Chapter 38: Darkness Within Light

Through the building, I walk aimlessly. I grow bored and tired of not having anything to do and no mission being given as of late. At first I was overjoyed when Nexus had me see things his way. It was like I was experiencing enlightenment, and when I would see him properly again I'd be able to serve him directly.

After years of being raised by my celestial relatives without making anyone suspicious of my changes. It was them who had raised me, and not my actual parents. It was violently taboo for celestials to have relations with the common mortal. For, my birth had killed my mother.

My father had only been allowed to meet with my mother when she could make the time and see him herself, apparently. According to my relatives who had told me all of this when they saw me old enough to know, they had told him of my mother's passing, but not my birth. In the conditions of two being to give offspring, celestial laws demand that they be the guardians of the child.

But I don't care. Maybe I would've cared had Nexus not come to me. But he did. And he gave me a job from that moment. And when I came of age, and I sought out and found Marsh. My heart skipped a beat. I wasn't expecting them to share most of their appearances.

It was easy for me to act like I loved Marsh. Because of course, I loved Nexus. But my time with Marsh was so.. different. He was as influential as Nexus was in his own way. Every smile could be burned into your mind, every word could reach you to your core. When Luxia kidnapped him at first I cried genuinely. Whether it was for my visual tether to Nexus was taken.. or if it was actually for Marsh.. I regrettably cannot say.

But when the time came and Nexus stood infront of Marsh and myself, I snapped back to my mission. I used my powers to knock Marsh out and eventually broke his arm to prove a point. Everything, inside and out, felt good about finally breaking from the facade.

But something deep within had a sinking feeling of regret. To this day, I question if Marsh had really impacted me that deeply.

Having nothing to do let's me wander physically and mentally. It certainly does kill time, but this line of thinking being so consistent.. it gives me a sense of longing.

My devotion to Nexus is just that, devotion. I serve him by doing what asks of me and giving him my aid in anyway I can. That's what he wants. But I want more. Because I do in fact love him.

But he's never slowed down or given me openings to make any advances. And so, I yearn. I yearn for the genuine actions and words Marsh put toward me when he still thought it was all real. As the days go by, and Nexus nears his goal. I consider. I consider if I made the wrong choice. If I chose the brothe-

"Lillian."

"A-ah! Hello, Nexus."

Nexus stands there, smiling at me. His constantly moving crimson eyes study me before stopping at my own eyes.

"You doubt your devotion to me."

"Wh-what!? N-no, no, I've let my thoughts wander, but I swear my heart belongs-"

Before I can finish my sentence, Nexus grabs at me as he pulls me in. His lips locked with my own and my body being held close against his. It warm.. and electrifying. I can feel the small pricks of static from Nexus as he holds me.

Becoming lost in the moment, finally getting what I've yearned for, I begin to wrap my leg around his own. I start running a hand down his back. As I'm halfway through the motion of doing so, I'm stopped as Nexus pulls away a bit as he returns to his smile.