She was struggling, she still is.
Now she has moved away, hoping to get a fresh start and forget about what happened last year but things change when that one person appears again, however this time he's her boss, he's so much older. Oh and he has...
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"Come on Lily, come out with me." I want to say yes, however I also want to say no.
I promised her a couple months ago that we can go out together but I prefer my own company with my books. It's a nice little world I have, an escape you could call it.
"Where would we be going?" maybe it won't be too bad.
"It is just a pub down the street, it's small and I promise I won't leave your side." She is already dressed to go out and she looks so excited.
"Okay" I muttered quietly.
"Sorry I didn't hear you, what did you say." There is a huge smile on her face already. "I said Okay." that's it she launches her self on my bed and throws her arms around me.
"I swear down , that you will love it. Come on lets get you dressed, take a break from those jogger bottoms" a laugh escapes my mouth, I don't think I have ever seen her this excited to go out before and it makes me happy.
Lucy drags me to her room so she can find me something to wear, and after a long time she gives me this brown fitted dress. She knows that I wouldn't usually wear something like this but I wont argue or protest because she is really happy and I don't want to ruin that.
"You know what Lily, you are fucking sexy."
"Oh shut it, you're gorgeous."
Lucy insists that we take pictures because she said and I quote that "me wearing clothes like this only happens once every blue moon." She is lying I wear plenty of clothes like this but never out of the house.
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So it isn't actually as bad as I thought it would be. Lucy was true to her word and stayed with me but I can see some man across the room give her the "fuck me eyes" which she is gladly returning.
"I am fine now, you can go to him." she must have not been paying attention to her surroundings because when I spoke she jumped a little.
" No, no I promised I wouldn't leave you so I wont." stubborn woman.
"It's fine this will probably be my last drink anyways, so you got talk to him and I will wait here until you are ready to leave. Unless you want to leave with him, which will be fine as long as you message me or call me."
She looks at the man and then back at me "Are you sure?"
I shove her away from the table "Yes now go"
I watch her walk away and then turns around and smiles at me, I am such a match maker, at least I can do one thing right.
My mind shuts off and goes to the man at work, he looked familiar and by the way he was looking at me I'd say he though the same. The only people I have seen for the past year has been Lucy, my little brother, people around the city and the man on the bridge that night -
No he cant be.
If he is then he could tell people I am not stable and I will be known as the depressed woman who couldn't even kill herself.
Shit, shit, shit.
Maybe he didn't remember me, I mean it was late at night, he looked older and I was only 18 then so he probably has a busy life. That night is probably a faint image for him.
I am screwed, my mum was right nothing in my life goes right.
Hearing Lucy's laugh I get pulled out of my thoughts, at least one of us is happy tonight. Sometimes I think about what my life would have been liked if I had never met Lucy she reminds me of my friend from high school Kallie, they both stuck by me through my hard times and would always push me to do my best. Until Kallie left, she said she couldn't do it anymore that I was too much to deal with, that really hit like a tonne of bricks the one person I though would always be there left like everyone else. It's only a matter of time before Lucy does and then my dad will be right that it's all my fault that people leave and never stay.
Stop it Lily, that isn't true. But- "Hey, you okay?" A voice says, I look up and Lucy has both a jackets.
"Yeah, yeah I am good just tired now." I give her a faint smile.
"Good because I don't know how long I could've lasted fake laughing at his jokes, I mean they were worse than the ones you used to tell me." Now there was need to hurt my jokes like that.
"Seriously, I thought you liked him" I shrug my jacket back on "Oh and please don't insult my jokes like that again, they don't deserve that."
Her laughter echoes through the exit. "You should have taken it as a compliment because that man may look good but when he spoke I wanted to crawl and run away."
"Then why didn't you?" I mean I would have left.
"Because Lils my darling friend, I wanted to see if maybe I could get past the jokes but they just kept on getting worse." Laughter escapes from both us.
We are now walking the streets of London at night and it's nice we just talk and laugh as she tells me some of the things the man said and I can fully agree that the things he said made me feel uncomfortable.
The streets of London are so alive, the music coming from the clubs flood the atmosphere and you can hear people talking and laughing.
I never regretted my decision leaving my home town. This place here is my new home.
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