A Very Gay Highschool Story

Resolved

Bucky

I fucked up. Like, royally fucked up. I feel like a shitty person right now. I had thought that my confession was a dream, it felt like one. The weight of not confessing my feelings was put right back onto me, so I didn't give Steve the chance to tell me his. Then, to add onto it, I had to get a fake boyfriend, who may or may not have feelings for me too. I am an ass.

"I think we need to stop pretending to date." I tell Sam when I see him next.

"But I'm having fun, aren't you?" He asked rather flirtatiously.

"Sam, you know I don't have feelings for you." I told him. "I have fallen in love with my best friend and now he is mad at me because you and I are dating."

"So you admit that you are in love with Steve?" He asked, eyes briefly glancing to something behind me, but I didn't turn around.

"Yes, I do." I admit. "I am sorry to disappoint you by saying that I have no feelings for you, but I want him. I want to be with him, spend the rest of my life with him. Even if he has no feelings for me, I want to spend as much time with him as I possibly can, and make sure that whomever he dates loves him as much as I do. I just want to see him happy."

"You might want to turn around right now." He tells me.

"Why?" I ask.

"Well, if he runs away, you won't see where he runs off too." Sam says.

I turned around and there he was, wide eyed and open mouthed. He had heard me confess before, but this time felt different, more vulnerable than last time. He stared at me and I stared back. Everyone had left at that point, Sam leaving when I had turned around.

"I'm sorry." I apologize after a few minutes. "You weren't supposed to hear that."

"I– I was going to tell you I feel the same way on Monday." Steve said. "Then you were with Sam. Why do you think pretending to be with Sam was a good idea?"

"I didn't know that my confession to you was real." I explained. "I wanted to draw a confession out of you. I wanted to know if you had felt the same way, and if you weren't, I would try being with Sam, even though I have no feelings for him whatsoever. I would be with him to move on from you so that you could be happy."

"You would've really done that?" He asked in disbelief. "You would've done all of that for me?"

"All of that and more." I told him.

Steve

If I don't sleep with him before our relationship ends, if it ends, I will be greatly disappointed. I know that isn't the first thought a normal person would think in this situation, but I am not a normal person and this is the first time I have been in a situation like this, so I don't know how to think.

"Are we dating now?" I ask very stupidly, not thinking before saying.

He didn't answer me, not with words at least. He drew close, and I looked up at him. I felt his breath fanning over my face. One of his arms snaked behind my back, pulling me closer to him. I closed my eyes and waited. Then it happened, it finally happened. It... there is no way to describe it.

"We should probably go home." He says after pulling away.

"Uh-huh." I answered, a bit dazed.

He led me out of the school, and I let him. At home, I still looked and felt a little dazed. I was too tired to do anything, so once i set my bag beside my bed, slipped off my shoes, climbed under the covers, and immediately fell asleep.

//Dream//

Laughing. Bucky was laughing at me and so was Sam.

"Did you really think that I was serious?" Bucky asked. "I never had feelings for you. I never even liked you in the first place, you were just small and pathetic I felt bad for you."

I start crying.

"Wow, you are actually crying."  Sam laughed. "You're almost an adult adults don't cry. Steve... stop crying. Your almost an adult, adults don't cry."

Sam kept repeating that phrase in different ways, which made me cry harder. 

I wake up crying. It was twelve am. God, I hope that he wasn't pretending.