I'll Be the Light

Chapter 22

Days had come and gone, and I haven't done a thing. Annie did bring me five tubs of ice cream, and I was grateful.

That was six days ago. I was still in the clothes I wore last Sunday, still feeling the pain. I haven't moved one muscle, I didn't even get out of bed. Mom and Tim checked up on me occasionally, but I didn't say anything. They just gave me sad smiles and walked away, letting me grieve.

Annie stayed by my side. She told me about what was happening in the world, since I didn't have enough energy and to go outside. She patted my shoulders and head, giving me reassuring hugs and kisses on the forehead. They warmed my heart a bit, but it didn't do much.

Colton was not a subject that she talked about. When I had enough strength I checked my Twitter, only to get notified that Colton and Annie were dating.

I haven't picked up my phone since then.

I knew she was trying to hide it from me, not out of guilt, but to protect me. I know she was as happy as I was when I was dating him, I could see the pure joy in her eyes. I know Colton was just as happy as her. I was happy for them, I did the right thing and made my cousin's life better. Why did it hurt so bad though?

Was it because I still loved him? That he chose the girl that was like a sister to me over me? That I thought I had such a great future with him, and that I dreamt of marrying him one day? Or was it because he was my idol and it hurt so much more because he was?

A smile slightly curved my lips as the next thought popped into my mind. Maybe I was still upset that he hit me with his car. Of course I was joking, he gave me blood for a surgery. He apologized by saving my life. I think that was what hurt the most. He was a savior to me, he was my light. I'll be the light... The song popped into my head. My eyes widened a bit when the song continued to play in my mind.

"There's a place that you're safe
That I want you to see
I don't care if it hurts
Crash into me
Let tomorrow clear the smoke

There's a spark in your heart
That's all you need
Let me be your trail of gasoline
Don't let the fire get too low

When you're tired of faith
And searching for a sign

I'll be the light
When there's nothing but night
Till now you've had to feel your way
Through the honest lies of yesterday

I'll guide you in
No matter how long you've been
Lost in love and all alone
A million miles away from home
And when your dawn refuses to fight
I'll be the light

Circle in like a plane
When you're ready to land
The runaway signals in my hands
Through the clouds of your denial

I remember the you that you were then
I remember days that would never end
Can you remember how to smile?

When you're out of faith
I'll give you some of mine

I'll be the light
When there's nothing but night
Till now you've had to feel your way
Through the honest lies of yesterday

I'll guide you in
No matter how long you've been
Lost in love and all alone
A million miles away from home
And when your dawn refuses to fight
I'll be the light

You can count on me
Open your eyes
And you will see

I'll guide you in
No matter how long you've been
Lost in love and all alone
A million miles away from home
And when your dawn refuses to fight
I'll be the light
You can count on me
Open your eyes
And you will see

I'll be the light
When there's nothing but night
Till now you've had to feel your way
I'll guide you in
No matter how long you've been
Lost in love and all alone
A million miles away from home
And when your dawn refuses to fight
And when your dawn refuses to fight
I'll be the light