Between Then & Now || Currently Editing for Wattys 2022

52.

Hey, there. It's been a bit since we last caught up. 

Well, maybe not for you.

But narratively speaking

a lot has happened.

I sold the tiny home van. Sad, I know, but all good things must come to an end. And, I won't lie–living in a six-by-six box did end up getting a little old after a while.

I used the funds to pay for a deposit on a new car and my new apartment. And I made sure my dad had a proper burial.

My mom and I both attended his funeral. I remembered to bring him his bag of deer jerky and slip it in next to him. It was a little weird, but I've done more odd things in the last year or so than bring my father his favorite snack one last time.

I let myself cry, too. Because that's what I felt like doing. And, for once, I didn't feel bad about it.

Ma and Kai got married. Well, they had a hand-fastening ceremony. I don't think I've ever seen my mom as happy as she was that day. And she only mentioned the matrix three times.

I let myself cry that day, too.

Sarah is still working at her investment firm, but I think she's started making a little more time for Aunt Rivers and the rest of our family ever since my father passed. She probably will never admit it, but I think, somehow, the news of my father's death broke into her little workaholic bubble and actually made her feel an emotion.

Crazy, I know.

Connor is off to school. He has absolutely no idea what the hell he's doing; I think he might be majoring in beer and weed at this point. It stresses the hell out of Aunt Rivers, but I've made sure to remind her that I still had no idea what I was doing even after I graduated.

As for me, well, Portland's been heaven on earth for the last two months I've lived here. It's like living in a 2000s film but... real. The one downside is that my two bedroom apartment's been a bit lonely, even with Thelma running around with her teddy bear and barking at random cars on the street. Not that lonely is always necessarily a bad thing, per say, but

I think I've spent enough time with my own mind over the last summer to last me at least a lifetime.

I know what you might be thinking–what about Dante? Where's our happily ever after?

There isn't one. Well, not in that way. Dante and his ex ended up getting back together, and, honestly, I couldn't be happier for him. Judging from his smile in his post on Instagram about their new puppy, I don't think he could be happier, either.

But, worry not–I won't be lonely for much longer. Jo flew in two weeks ago to see the place she would be moving into. I think she's a little excited to get out of the South–she already installed her favorite LED lights in our living room.

And the documentary? No, it never landed me a job in Hollywood like senior-year-me would have liked. It never even really went viral viral–but I did get a few hate comments from Jon12842 and FuckTheLeft23, so I like to think I've made it. Plus, it helped me get my job at Half Moon Entertainment, an independent film company here in Portland. It's not Warner Bros. by any means, but I think that's probably why I like it so much.

Dr. Walker thinks the same. She even sent me a big chunk of Alexandrite for good luck. I'm pretty sure she just has my documentary playing on a spare laptop on loop just to get it more views. She's convinced it'll go viral one day. And, considering her track record, I wouldn't be shocked if she turned out to be right. But, even if she isn't, I'll still be doing just fine.

Because, for once, I don't feel the need to be anyone or anywhere else than who and where I am right now.

At my kitchen table, eating microwaved pizza rolls at 2 am on a Saturday, blazed out of my mind, watching YouTube videos of those guys who build entire architectural masterpieces out of mud.

So, I think it's fair to say that I've been doing alright. Good, even. 

But who knows when all of that could change.

(Don't worry, I checked with my landlord about the sprinklers before signing the lease.)