Between Then & Now || Currently Editing for Wattys 2022

49.

"Hi, honey," My mom looks over her shoulder where she stands by the stove when I come into the dining room. "How are you holding up?"

"Trying not to think about it," I mumble, grabbing the set of two plates she had set on the table and setting them out. It would just be us tonight because Kai had to stay late to do some work at the environmental non-profit they work for.

"That makes sense," She steps out from around the peninsula in the kitchen, holding the pan of marinara sauce with an oven mitt. "Sometimes that's the best way to handle... this."

I just nod, sitting down in my seat at the table. "Dr. Walker called."

"Oh?" She looks over at me, setting the pan on a pot coaster on the table. The noodles already sit next to it, steam still rising from them. "What did you talk about?"

I sigh, scooping some noodles and putting them on my plate. "She calls about the documentary. But I told her what happened, and she was really nice about it."

"As always," my mom wipes her hands off on her pants, sitting down in the chair across from me at the dining table. "That woman is a beautiful, beautiful soul."

I nod, spooning sauce onto my pasta. "I think I'm going to do it, though. The documentary, I mean." She wrinkles her eyebrows at me when I look up and I shake my head, continuing before she can interrupt. "I could really use a distraction right now. And I think..." I pause, mixing my pasta. "I think I have a lot to tell."

For a moment, she doesn't say anything and we just sit in silence, the sky outside growing dim. The pasta is delicious, as always. I'm not sure how much I believe in my mom's use of "magic" but whatever herbs she mixed into the pasta sauce was as close to it as I think it gets.

"I think you should," she finally speaks up, and when I look at her, she swallows her bite and wipes her mouth off with a napkin. "If you have a story to tell, tell it. There's nothing stopping you." She reaches over to hold my hand and squeezes it. "It might be good for you. Maybe that's what you were supposed to do all along for this trip."

I nod and smile and immediately remember that I don't have nearly enough footage for a substantial documentary and tuck my head. "But I don't know if I have enough film."

She tilts her head. "Didn't you meet some people on your trip? What about that girl, Jo?" One eyebrow raises and she continues. "I know you might still be mad about what happened." I internally cringe, slightly upset with myself for sharing the Dante escapades with her. But she tuts her tongue. "Sh, it's nothing to be ashamed of. It happens. That's life. But... Jo was the one who eventually got you to come home, to take time to take care of yourself." Her soft brown eyes examined mine and she holds my hand again. "Friends like that are hard to come by. Even if you've only known each other for a few weeks - that's what good friends do."

Not sleep with your boyfriend.

For a few seconds, I just look at her, examining the wrinkles in the corners of her eyes, the gray of her hair. Then, I nod. "You're right."

"Now, text her and ask! It's time for you to do something for you. Not to get away from something. To go towards something," she smiles again and I grab my phone out and send the text.

Hey, girl.

And, immediately, the text bubble of her response pops up. 

YOU'RE SAFE. thank god.